This Guy

This week's 'This Guy' is this giant clown from whatever precinct somewhere in this free country. Dude doesn't know the anthem, and to make things worse, literally sounds like someone put to much into a blender but has it on full speed anyway.

Classic

Everyone loves dogs. Not everyone loves when they do that hyper move that involves them doing the NFL Combine shuttle run across your living room, but all that aside, dogs are awesome.

Did this dog deserve what was coming to him? Probably, but he was unharmed, so there's no reason for worry.

This Is Not Okay

Look, I know this is absolutely ridiculous, but tell me if you think this is the least bit okay. Shock therapy through the RAFTERS, dude's just running out with trays full of pickles.

Did anyone else notice this girl is only 18? As if she's not self-conscious enough, she's gotta deal with being on Maury, the most popular nationally televised show ever, with mass amounts of pickles chasing her up the stairs into the crowd, and going so far as to steal one of her shoes. None of this is okay, but I hope she learned something from this: that she is a ridiculous person, and needs to settle herself down.

You Can Dance If You Want To

I was completely lost on this video. I'm not gonna knock the dance moves though, because there have been times when I've resorted to THE FORK, IN THE GARRRRBAGE DISPOSAL! That's life, though, right?

Some Random Videos To Buy Us Some Time Til The Next Real Blogworthy Post (And Also The Weekend's Longest Title So Far!)

It's a quick video, but that's textbook Hollywood car chase style right there. That's something that can't be taught, you just gotta be born with skillz like that. I saw the headline, and I was thinking it was sarcastic, so, like anybody would, I thought the driver was asian...or just a woman. But lo and behold, shaZAAM, the dude is a professional. It's only 10 seconds, but I can bet you'll spend a few minutes watching it.


Ignoring the fact that that panda could rip a man's face off without breaking a sweat, how cute is this guy? Not only is this a dancing panda, but the video is set to the greatest song of all time. (See Hide Ya Kids...)


I understand ice cream is better with friends. But I've never found it more satisfying to be in the company of elephants or in a hot air balloon. Notice how I'm completely skipping the fact that this ice cream is called Gaytime, because pointing this out and making fun of it would be like beating a dead horse.


I don't care who you are, if you don't enjoy this video, you probably don't have a pulse...or eyes.

I Don't Know Either

So this is just your typical priest on a skateboard while teaching Sunday School video, right? Dead wrong. Here are some things you may have missed while trying to explain this one to yourself internally.

First thing you think of when you see this priest? Batman, correct. Which then makes me wonder...Batman has that ridiculous-looking motorcycle in 'The Dark Knight,' so how long until he goes Bob Burnquist and starts shredding all over The Riddler?

Secondly, can someone turn the obnoxious laughter off? I understand that this guy looks like he's straight out of Looney Tunes with that back and forth walk he does, but shut the peanut gallery up, the man's talking about Jesus...

And at :34 seconds, who instantly thought, 'oh my god, please tell me he's going to get off'd by a car...' Because if you did, one way ticket to Hell, nice going.

Admittedly, it's a video you can't just watch once. Not only does he have some Otto Rocket skills on that board, but he should be on the fast track to the Vatican if he can spit out some theology while tearing it up like that

Thinko De Mayo

You're probably looking for an explanation to this video since it's only 5 seconds long, and you've probably already watched it twice to try to understand it. So i suggest you watch it a few more times and tell me its not one of the funniest videos you've seen.

The Whistle's Like 'WOOOO!'

So much to say, so little time. This is the craziest news story to NOT come out of Alabama in the past decade.

Whistling mufflers sound like a downright terrible idea. But like my friend Curtis Jackson always says, get rich or die tryin', right? I don't blame the guy who's installing these, who they only give like 20 seconds of face time to.

What I take issue is with everything Bubb Rubb is about. A huge Oakland Raiders fan, Mr. Rubb just happened to be in the right place at the right time for this interview. Whoever that crazy lady next to him is was all about bejazzling her mouth to the rafters. Nameless crazy lady, please say "decoration" one more time...jeez.

This video is only two and a half minutes long, but here are some of the finer points: Bubb Rubb comparing mufflers by making a high-pitched and low-pitched "WOO-WOO" sound...the white lady who hates the noise so much, all she does is smile during her interview...the scene at 1:33: not only is Bubb Rubb comparing the sound to an alarm clock, and making the "WOO-WOO" noise again, but he is just holding a random piece of car in his hands...

And finally? Their demonstration of the muffler. You can't even hear the whistling, and THEY'RE DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, ALMOST HIT A CAR, AND BLOW THROUGH A STOP SIGN! Welcome to Oakland, bitches.

This Weekend's Poll Winner

Carl Spackler, the assistant greenskeeper, everybody. Great choice for this Weekend's poll winner.

"Cinderella Story..."

This Weekend's Poll Winner

Congratulations to these two crazy bastards. There probably has never been a greater taunting in all of sports. And you gotta give it up for the darker shade of Green Man, guy's on top of his game in every way possible. Doing that crazy drag-my-face across the glass move, then busting out the handstand on his seat.

You don't see that every day, folks. Cheers, gentlemen.

This Guy

Dude used to live in a 4,000 square foot house with his family growing up, and now lives in an 89 square foot house. Picture that real fast. If you were to lay down and extend your arms over your head, that's longer than the width, pretty much. They don't show the guys bed though, so I'm not sure what happens there.

Either way, the chances of this guy shacking up with anyone are completely out the window, ya know? Basically watch the first minute of the video, and drop out once that 2nd nutcase comes in.

And does anyone else wish he explained why he named his house 'Tumbleweed?!' I can see naming a car, or naming your dog or something, but why would you name your house, and why the hell would you name it Tumbleweed?

Yo Soy "La Pequena"

Wow, so many questions left unanswered here. First off, why is miniature Hilary Clinton so disappointed in the people of the U.S? Why didn't this video win some sort of award? The angles, the slow motion, and the drama; this is a can't-beat YouTube clip with an all-star cast and DAMNIT it needs some recognition!

Who invited that dominatrix-looking bro that stumbles in the video towards the end, there, to contain 'La Pequena.' What the hell dude? It was just getting good. I was confident Hilary Hulk was going to pick up that table and toss it through a wall or some shit. Also, it appears to me this has to be a three-person operation: we got the dominatrix-looking character, La Pequena (who has a whole series of YouTube videos), then a mystery cameraman. The way I see it, it has to be M. Night with that wild dominatrix twist of an ending. Any thoughts on who this mystery film genius is?

Valley Warrior's Movie Clip of the Week

What's the only thing better than watching Thud Butt bowl over a bunch of pirates? Hearing him yell Carambola with a Spanish accent. Enjoy

-KG

Boom Goes The Dynamite

Yet another amazing call by a sportscaster on the evening news.

Several things in this video... This guy just produced solid gold. How old is that girl who gets run into? How does the anchor line up that first "OH MY GOD!" so well at the :17 second mark?! And how much does that girl's redhead friend NOT want to know her when she starts flipping her lid?

Mel Gibson Tells It Like It Is

Mel Gibson has officially lost it. I'm really not that surprised by all of this, though. I felt it coming on ever since "The Passion of the Christ," and even way back when he was the voiceover for John Smith in Disney's "Pocahontas." My only hope is that he treated Pocahontas better then his ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva because we all know the real ending to the story of the Indians.

After going on a wild rant about 'foreign bodies' in her breasts and some other absurd insults, this gem of a conversation was topped of with an extremely racist comment. In light of this situation I'm sure Michael Richards is now happy to be out of the spot light. Here's the link to the phone conversation, discretion is advised due to the lewd remarks.

Mel Gibson Voicemail

Side note: This is perfect for a sound board on the internet, someone needs to get on that. Also, I love how he calls her out for being able to see her 'pussy from the back.' Hahaha WHAT!? You tell 'em, Mel.

FREEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!

BRILLIANT!

This Guy

This week's 'This Guy' is my brother, Jay. The Houston Chronicle did a piece on grilling for the Fourth of July weekend, and he was in this video, filmed at Central Market. Sure, it may not get anybody anywhere being on this blog, but one day...

Who Dat??

Alright folks, its time to play a little game I like to call 'Who Dat??'. Who walks with so much swagger even the walls of an Applebee's cant hold a candle to him? Who only owns overalls just 'cause? Who can sling shot two Japanese beetles getting it on? Who single-handedly built the wall of China and invented hop-scotch?

He goes by the simple name Rufus, or Rufus the 'sling-shot man'. I'm confident this simple ol' timer will secure a spot as one of the greats of human history, but hey I'm just one opinion. Take a look and see what you think. Greatness.

Wow.

I know i just posted this as a link in the last post, but in case you bastards didn't take the time to read it, here's the video, free of charge. The good ol' days of MJ...

What...

Free hat to whoever tells me what the hell this video is for/about. Hurry, please. Sanity depends on it.