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Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

You Know What Grinds My Gears?


The elevator. First thought of by Archimedes of Rome in 236 B.C. The first electric elevator was completed in 1880 by Werner von Siemens. Needless to say, they've been around for a pretty long time.

I work at Fenway Park as a "greeter" which is really the same thing as an usher, they just developed the position so that we were not in the usher's union. But anywho, I work on the third and fourth levels of Fenway, close to the elevators by Gate D.

There are elevators in almost every public building these days, and people use them pretty often, because let's be real, stairs are obnoxious a lot of the time. So when people come to Fenway for a Sox game and they encounter these elevators, I know its not the first time they've experienced the thrill.

My first question is, why would elevators at Fenway Park be any different than one in, say, an apartment building? Right, they wouldn't be.

Over the past homestand, I have heard multiple people have some sort of issue with the elevators because they are unsure of "elevator policy" I guess you could call it.

"Can you only get off this elevator?" Yes, sir, you can only get off of the elevator, not on. First you have to wish really hard that you'll magically teleport into the damn thing, then by all means, go crazy and step off on whatever floor will tickle your fancy.

"Can you go down on these elevators, too?" No, dude, sorry. You can only go up in them, like the bridges from Super Mario that you jump across (0:56). The elevator just keeps going up til it disappears, then a new one appears at the bottom, its amazing.

So, what really grinds my gears is those people who are unfamiliar with how to use an elevator. Get in, hit the button of the floor you want to go to, and get out. Don't ask questions.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Baby Names - What the f...


So my friend and I are driving back to his house to play some NHL 09, your typical Sunday night. We somehow got on the topic of baby names, an infuriating subject for me. So we're talking about how a guy that he works with was talking to another fellow co-worker who works at one of the local hospitals. She was telling him about a baby name she just saw: La-a.

No, that's not a typo. The baby's name was La-a, pronounced "Ladasha." Are you kidding me? Are people just trying to be funny? Sure, its original, if by original you mean fucking stupid. Stop putting symbols in your child's name, and stop using random nouns, too. Here's a list of ridiculous baby names that make me want to hurt things.

Kal-El Coppola - Nic Cage...Figures...
Moxie CrimeFighter - Penn Jillette. As a doctor, no, as a mother, nay... As a human being...How do you allow that to happen?
Blue Angel - The Edge and Aislinn O'Sullivan
Jazz Domino - Joe Strummer
Liberty - Ryan Giggs. I heart Ryan Giggs, great name, bud.
Apple - Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow. I think Gwyneth is awesome, and for a guy who can think up like 100 songs worth of lyrics, he can't think of something other than a food for a name?!
Heaven - Lil' Mo. How fucking conceited can you be.
Moon Unit, Dweezil, Diva Muffin - Frank Zappa. I'm done here.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Knock It Off...


So, I'm not sure if it's just me, but this Twitter thing seems ridiculous. Why on earth would anyone need to constantly update their status on what they are doing? Do people honestly think that somebody else is just keeping track of what's going on every two seconds of your life? Really, nobody is that important. I mean, this is like telling your girlfriend that you're gonna throw on your snuggie and pour yourself a glass of wine so you can watch the game, it's just not something you should ever do.

The whole system just kinda sucks. You have to make an account, then find your friends or different celebrities that you want to follow, then I guess you just sit around in your bedroom taking breaks from playing Warcraft or learning to play the trombone to check out who just 'Tweeted.' It's like constantly updating your facebook status so everyone gets a new notification that they don't really want. How much more connected are people going to want to get? People don't even sit next to each other in church, so why do we need to know every little thing about someone's personal life? It's gotta stop.