E-mail comments/suggestions/funny stories to the7dayweekendguys@gmail.com

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Craigslist Post of the Day

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Craigslist post of the day:
(Click the image for a bigger picture)

I'm sure all the other people trying to get tickets are just as pissed as I am on this. I guess I should have seen the insanity brewing a mile away.

Whatever. While I'm burning on it, how the hell are companies like AceTicket and StubHub still in business???? I thought scalping was illegal. Oh well.

Here's to getting wasted watching the game on a big ass TV.

Q Man

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Believe In Boston

"Religion Is A Lot Like A Credit Card..."


Meet Kyle Kinane, stand-up comedian. I understand the video is 14 minutes long, but trust me, stick with it.

First off, he's absolutely right, now that I think of it. Grab life by the horns, sure, but keep it above the belt, and I think you'll be fine every time. And as far as religion is concerned, isn't that the argument of every pretentious 20-something year old who just discovered its cool to disown religion? Classic.

Finally, the pizza bit is absolutely hilarious. The whole time he was talking about it, I tried to imagine a pizza that big, and its absolutely ridiculous that someone actually makes that. 4 and a half feet by 4 and a half feet. What do you do with that? Imagine how many people could eat that one piece, and how many people would be assholes and snatch up the crust pieces so you're left with the greasy floppy middle pieces? I guess not that it would matter, since there's 18 feet of crust pieces, really...

Thanks to Bill for the link.

Friday, May 27, 2011

NO NEED TO SHAVE TONIGHT, BOYS!! BRUINS WIN, 1-0!!!

Stanley Cup Finals, here we come. The Boston Bruins and Tampa Bay Lightning played one of the best games of hockey I have seen in my entire life, battling the entire game until Nathan Horton netted his third game-winning goal of the Playoffs with 7 minutes to go in the 3rd period, slamming the door closed on Tampa Bay's hopes.

This game saw some big hits, unbelievable goaltending, and Steve Stamkos getting his nose beat in by a Johnny Boychuk slapshot...only to come back 15 mintues later.

The series ended at 21 goals apiece in the 7 games for both Boston and Tampa Bay. The Eastern Conference Finals may have been some of the best hockey in the NHL this season.

Tim Thomas had 24 saves in net, posting another clean sheet, his second of the series, but the even more impressive stat was 41-year-old Dwayne Roloson making a baffling 37 saves. For 60 minutes of hockey, zero penalties were committed, much to the delight of Boston for many reasons.

Horton's goal was assisted by Andrew Ference and David Krejci. Both teams played 110% the entire game, with the Bruins kicking it up to about 170% with about 10 minutes remaining in the tilt.

Next stop: Vancouver, Wednesday night. Tough task ahead with the Canucks. They've had a lot of time off, but are still the best hockey team in the NHL as far as the record is concerned. If you thought this hockey was good, wait til the Stanley Cup Finals. Damn...

LET'S GO B'S!!!

Best Bathroom Graffiti?


Thanks to Aaron Fatato for the photo.

I mean, there isn't much to say about this photograph. You just have the basic two elements to any bathroom graffiti to ponder.

Who goes into a bathroom that's not in a school building, ready to go with a permanent marker? and

Who felt so strongly about their opinion of Toy Story 2 they needed to post it very high up in a bathroom stall? I mean, out of the three, it is the weakest link. It still got its 100% on Rottentomatoes.com, but then again, what animated movie these days doesn't? Serious bias going on. Anyway, to the man who wrote this...I commend you.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Breaking News: Buster Posey Most Likely Done For 2011 Season


Last night in a 12-inning thriller at AT&T Park in San Francisco, the Marlins trumped the Giants, 7-6. But there was no shaving cream pie laid out for the Fish after the game.

In the top of the 12th, Scott Cousins of the Marlins was rounding third base heading into home as the go-ahead run. The throw beat him, but his collision with Giants catcher Buster Posey jostled the ball loose--and also a bone in Posey's left leg.

Almost down to his knees, once the collision came in, Posey was held from flipping backwards because his foot was caught of the ground as all of his weight fell back, snapping a bone around his shin/ankle area. He suffered a broken bone, and will most likely miss the remainder of the season.

The Twins are sans starting catcher Joe Mauer, and their record this season sits at a dismal 16-32. What will happen to the Giants without their former Rookie of the Year, World Series winning catcher for the remainder of 2011?

The other part to this story is Posey's agent, Jeff Berry has the ball rolling on opening up communication with MLB On-Field Operations leader Joe Torre on home-plate collisions.

From a fan standpoint, if you get rid of home plate collisions, that takes away so much from the game. Baseball is the least physical game of the major sports, and stripping it entirely of any contact would be disastrous. I can understand the argument, because according to the Sports Science clip they showed on the 5:00 Sportscenter, a runner charing home plate can impact with roughly 3,000 pounds of force.

Either way, for the Giants to stay afloat, it is going to take a lot. Losing an offensive leader, nevermind a catcher, is going to be tough. The Giants are up 2.5 games in their division, and if they want to hold onto that lead, they will have to play smarter baseball, and look for those players who are ready to step up and lead the charge.

Barry Bonds...Wow.

(Photo:Stow Family)

Back on Opening Day in Chavez Ravine outside of Dodger Stadium, a man named Bryan Stow, a Giants fan was practically beaten within an inch of his life and suffered a traumatic brain injury at the hands on two Dodgers fans.

The only motive behind the assault was that Stow was a Giants fan, and his two attackers were supporters of the rival team, the Dodgers.

The incident took place in front of Stow's wife and his two children, ages 8 and 12. Several players have contributed money to a foundation they have set up to help Stow and his family, and to hopefully send a message about fan violence in sports. One player went above and beyond much to the shock of the media and the public.

It was announced today that Barry Bonds has pledged to pay for Stow's children's college education. Bonds and the Stow family had met previously, but felt it appropriate to wait until a little more dust settled on the situation. The Stow family are still in the middle of a lawsuit with the Dodgers, and Los Angeles police are still tracking down one of the attackers, but the selflessness showed by Bonds is truly a pleasant surprise.

I mean, I still think Barry Bonds is a cheating bastard who took advantage of his teammates, the fans and the game of baseball itself, but this move by him was one of the classiest things I have seen in a while. Other Giants players have given money to the Stow family, and have supported the fight against fan violence, but a pledge like this has to put the Stow family at ease, and make at least one part of their lives easier, which I'm sure is more appreciated than we could know.

All Bolts, No Nuts


Don't think you can come into Boston for Game 7 and beat the B's. It happened 2 years ago when Carolina did it in overtime, and it happened last year when Philadelphia won, but no one really remembers what happened in that series, I think something to do with a referee scandal, or something? No one is quite sure.

We've already beat Montreal in 7, and we swept Philly. Yeah, Tampa Bay's fast. The Bruins still put up 4 goals on Dwayne Roloson, including a hat-trick from David Krejci.

Tomorrow night--8pm--TD Garden--Lightning vs Bruins. Keep that Chara-on-Lecavalier match-up, work out this practice running the penalty kill formations, and play some physical hockey. The Bruins are the hardest hitting team in the NHL, and still have yet to truly show it. Either way, this is going to be an absolutely amazing, ridiculously fast hockey game.

Let's Go B's.

How Strong Are You?! TOO STRONG!


Fresh off their 14-2 smackdown (with Bobby Flay) of the Cleveland Indians, the Boston Red Sox got up early and never looked back against the Detroit Tigers on Thursday.

In Wednesday's game at Cleveland, the Sox thumped 4 home runs with the bats of Dustin Pedroia, Carl Crawford, David Ortiz, and Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Crawford finished the day a triple away from the cycle and ended up 4-4, whereas every other player on the team had at least 2 hits besides Jed Lowrie who finished 0-5, and received a day off on Thursday.

(LIVE)Their second afternoon game in a row, and their first of a three game series in Detroit, the Red Sox jumped out with 5 runs in the 2nd inning, with a lot of credit due to Jacoby Ellsbury's 3-run jack.

The Sox should just play day games more often, apparently, as they have now scored 14 runs thus far, with the game in the top of the eighth.

Vartiek flies out to retire the side. I think I'm going to close the book on this one. I know our bullpen is bad, so I won't say that the Tigers just have one run. Crawford, over the past two games is 8-9, with 4 singles, a double, 2 triples and a home run. He is hitting .330 in the month of April, an unbelievable turnaround for him, and just what Sox fans have been looking for. No need for a fourth walk-off hit when your team wins by double-digits.

And as I say that, into a rain delay we go. Well no matter what happens, the team with the most wins in professional sports in the month of May has won their third game in a row over the Detroit Tigers.

Tomorrow, Tim Wakefield will take on a surging Rick Porcello at 7:05pm.

Bitch I got a degree!



Gotta say this is exactly how I feel after getting my degree right now. Pointing at people ordering them to do my bidding and telling any nay sayers that "I can do whatever I want". Bitch I got a degree I'm tossing people in headlocks all day and threatening citizens arrests to whom ever I please.

Where does this lady get off talking about her constitutional rights and shit, lady show me a degree and maybe I'll give you the time of day. Also who the fuck is this street doctor? is that like Newarks version of a witch doctor? I think the real story here revolves around this shady character. He was probably patrolling for albino's, come on people think out side the box, get a degree, then call me.

This leads me to an interesting question I have been mulling around in my head lately. Should I carry my degree with me everywhere and just rub it in everyones face? listen, I know a degree in political science is next to worthless, that being said, did I earn the right of douche-baggery after spending 4 years and copious amounts of money to get this piece of paper? I think so.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Game 6 Tonight -- B's vs Bolts


Get ready for some great hockey. The Vancouver Canucks clinched the Western Conference Championship in a double-overtime thriller, and are awaiting an opponent.

As the great Kevin Millar said before Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS when the Red Sox trailed the Yankees 0-3, "Don't let us win one." Boom, Sox go on to be World Champions.

The Bruins are hungry, and pissed off after the Lightning players threw a hissy fit right after the final horn in Game 5.

Let's Go B's.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Sox Finally Trump Tribe, 4-2


Jason Varitek threw out two runners and hit his first home run of the year, Adrian Gonzalez continued his tear, and Beckett pitched 6 innings striking out as many batters. For the first time in 2011, the Red Sox have beaten the Cleveland Indians, 4-2.

Splitting their second series of the year, the teams completed their two game series Tuesday night from Progressive Field in Cleveland.

For Varitek, this was his first home run in 117 at-bats, dating back almost a full year to May 30, 2010. Gonzalez's average dropped to .340, so he's doing absolutely miserable in his first season with Boston.

The Sox travel to Detroit tomorrow for an awkward Wednesday afternoon game at 12:05. The Sox have gone 8-2 over their last 10, and now sit in 2nd place in the AL East with a record of 26-22, after starting their season 2-10.

Evil, Which We Call Crime


Look, I'm not trying to bring this down in anyway, but watch about 30 seconds of the video, then think to yourself... "Ray Lewis killed a guy."

Reverend Ray Lewis in an interview with ESPN's Sal Paolantonio, talked about a wide array of football topics, including the NFL Lockout. Lewis hypothesized that if there is no NFL season, the crime rates around the country will rise.

Am I the only one who thinks this is absolutely ridiculous?

"Do this research if we don't have a season--watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game,"

This is the same guy who in this same interview said that he doesn't get into words because "they take away from life," and who starts half of his responses by going "ah!"

Lewis claims that there is nothing else to do for some people, which is why the crime rates will spike. I mean, I agree to an extent, because look at how many average Joe's that work at the stadium will be out of jobs. But at the same time, football has one game on Thursday, one on Monday, and is played Sunday afternoon into Sunday night. It is not like baseball where the teams play every day, and nor will a football game being on TV make someone less inclined to commit a crime, that's absurd.

Ray Lewis, maybe without realizing, is getting himself involved with these same words that take away from life. He is not representing the players in the courtroom, but this interview will not go unnoticed as his support for the players, albeit in the defense of the everyday man.

New Math: 128 > 45


NASCAR standout Kyle Busch was pulled over in Troutman, North Carolina on Tuesday for careless and wreckless driving.

Busch was going 128 miles per hour in a 45mph zone.

"Today I received a traffic citation in Iredell County. I was test driving a new sports car and I got carried away. I went beyond the speed I should have been going on a public road. I apologize to the public, my fans, sponsors, and race teams for my lack of judgment. I take responsibility for my actions and I can assure you that something like this will never happen again. I thank the Iredell County Sheriff's Department and all law enforcement for the hard work they do every day to protect the public and to enforce the laws in a fair and equitable manner."


First of all, what an apology. Athletes are some of the biggest role models to kids lives these days, and constantly get in trouble for things so much worse than driving over the speed limit. Busch apologizes to not only the public and the fans, but to his sponsors and race teams, and guarantees that something like this will never happen again.

Every athlete needs to take a page out of Busch's book right now. Derek Lowe and Miguel Cabrera with drunk driving, every NFL player having a gun, and any other athlete who's just made a complete bonehead move and acted like they can do it since they're a superstar.

Was I a NASCAR fan before this? No. Am I now? Sort of, but still not really. Kyle Busch is the man, though.

Best Spokesperson Ever?


Meet Doug.

Keys to life, in this video right here. If there's ever a case of you not knowing what to do, just say to yourself: "I'm gonna be me, I'm gonna do what I like, I'm gonna let my freak flag fly."

Along with that, there are three simple rules to living your life that I have learned over the past few weeks. They're simple, and if you use them as your weapons, you will be able to get through any situation in your life. Trust me. Remember, know these three things, and you will make it pretty damn far in life, probably farther than you thought before you knew this information...

Everything is a mental game.

Know your history, and know your history well.

Drive it like you stole it.

Is This What The World Is Coming To?


1,400 Bernie Brewer lawn ornaments were hidden across Wisconsin as a promotion for the Milwaukee Brewers' organization. The statues contained tickets, coupons and autographs. A great idea by the ball club, with a miserable result.

The ornaments were put out early this morning, but those who placed them were apparently stalked by some greedy bastards who wanted first dibs. The rules of the Bernie Brewer scavenger hunt, that came directly from the Brewers' organization stated that there was to be one per household. Instead of getting two or three, people are apparently snatching them up in groups of more than 10 in some cases.

There are even some statues on eBay, going for roughly $200, even though they are sold in the Brewers' team store for $48.

Could this be any more ridiculous? Absolutely not. A great promotional call by the Brewers, and it was absolutely ruined by a few selfish assholes. Think of how many kids were pumped to run around their local parks looking for these statues only to hear that some 30-year-old jerk already swept the area at about 6am, hot on the trail of the employee laying them out. That's absolutely pathetic, if you ask me. People are so dumb sometimes, it is truly baffling to me.

Good Morning, Denmark


First off, congratulations are in order. Denmark is now the official NUMBER TWO 7-Day Weekend reading country in the entire world, with 91 views already in the past 3 days. Thanks for being great, Denmark, keep up the good work, and you shall be rewarded.

To return the favor of Denmark promoting the Weekend, I will now promote Denmark by giving you, our loyal readers, some interesting facts about the country, straight from DenmarkFacts.com.

Climate: Windy winters and cool summers, temperate, humid and overcast; mild.

In 1989 Denmark become the very first European country to legalize same-sex marriages and offer for gay partnership the same rights as for heterosexual couples.

Lars Ulrich ( One of founders of Metallica ) was born in Denmark. This facts is interesting, because in whole history only two famous performers of heavy metal were ever born in Denmark: King Diamond and Ulrich himself.

Stroget in Copenhagen is one of the longest shopping street in whole Europe.

Among other things Danish people have invented the widely known children playthings LEGO. LEGO started to produce toys in 1932. The really interesting fact , for the more than sixty years was sold over 320 billion units of LEGO bricks all around the Globe. If we make very simple calculation we found out that every human being in the world is owner of about 56 LEGO bricks.

You Know What Grinds My Gears?


The elevator. First thought of by Archimedes of Rome in 236 B.C. The first electric elevator was completed in 1880 by Werner von Siemens. Needless to say, they've been around for a pretty long time.

I work at Fenway Park as a "greeter" which is really the same thing as an usher, they just developed the position so that we were not in the usher's union. But anywho, I work on the third and fourth levels of Fenway, close to the elevators by Gate D.

There are elevators in almost every public building these days, and people use them pretty often, because let's be real, stairs are obnoxious a lot of the time. So when people come to Fenway for a Sox game and they encounter these elevators, I know its not the first time they've experienced the thrill.

My first question is, why would elevators at Fenway Park be any different than one in, say, an apartment building? Right, they wouldn't be.

Over the past homestand, I have heard multiple people have some sort of issue with the elevators because they are unsure of "elevator policy" I guess you could call it.

"Can you only get off this elevator?" Yes, sir, you can only get off of the elevator, not on. First you have to wish really hard that you'll magically teleport into the damn thing, then by all means, go crazy and step off on whatever floor will tickle your fancy.

"Can you go down on these elevators, too?" No, dude, sorry. You can only go up in them, like the bridges from Super Mario that you jump across (0:56). The elevator just keeps going up til it disappears, then a new one appears at the bottom, its amazing.

So, what really grinds my gears is those people who are unfamiliar with how to use an elevator. Get in, hit the button of the floor you want to go to, and get out. Don't ask questions.

Monday, May 23, 2011

This Guy


This week's 'This Guy' is this giant clown from whatever precinct somewhere in this free country. Dude doesn't know the anthem, and to make things worse, literally sounds like someone put to much into a blender but has it on full speed anyway.

One Win Away From the Stanley Cup Finals, B's Take Game 5, 3-1


One minute and nine seconds into the tilt, the Tampa Bay Lightning lit the lamp. Simon Gagne was fed on a one-timer by Steve Stamkos that he slipped by Boston goalie Tim Thomas and through the legs of defender Johnny Boychuk.

The Bruins tied it up 7 shots later--which took them almost 25 minutes of hockey--with an absolute laser off the stick of Nathan Horton. The B's only managed 19 shots on the entire night, but scored 3 times to take Game 5, 3-1.

Brad Marchand took a pass from Patrice Bergeron that skimmed just in front of Mike Smith, and tossed it top shelf to take the lead, 2-1. With under a minute to go, Rich Peverley broke out down the ice to lock the game up with an empty-net goal.

Tim Thomas, brilliant again with 33 saves on the night, made one of the best saves of the entire season. The puck was launched off of Steve Downie's stick with about 11 minutes to go in the third period, but just in the nick of time, Thomas reached out with his stick as the puck dinged off of the left pipe and slapped it out of the fray.

The Bruins took Game 5 in front of 17,500 at the TD Garden, and are one win away from their first Stanley Cup finals berth since 1990. The Vancouver Canucks are also a win away from the Finals, and will host the San Jose Sharks tonight for Game 5 of the Western Conference Finals. Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals will be from the St. Pete Times Forum Wednesday night.

Go B's.

Sox Fall to the Tribe - Again

(AP Photo: Mark Duncan)

Clay Buchholz and Justin Masterson matched up beautifully Monday night both going at least 7 innings, but neither of them factored in the decision. Daniel Bard came on in relief in the bottom of the 8th at Progressive Field in Cleveland, only to give up a double to Michael Brantley for the game-tying run, followed by another double off the bat of the white-hot Asdrubal Cabrera to slam the door, 3-2.

The Red Sox have won 7 of their last 9, and were leading for most of this game thanks to a solo home run hit by Carl Crawford in the fifth, his second of the year.

Buchholz took the mound tonight, giving up 4 hits and two earned runs over 7 and 1/3 innings and receiving his second straight no decision. Masterson's line was eerily similar, going 7 and 2/3 innings.

First pitch was at 8:10pm, an hour later than scheduled due to some passing showers over the ballpark, but once it was underway, the game took less than 3 hours.

Adrian Gonzalez continued his tear with a single tonight in a 1-3 performance including a walk, putting his batting average to .342. Kevin Youkilis' hit streak was snapped at 10 games tonight, going 0-3.

Scary moment in the top of the 8th when Dustin Pedroia, attempting to round 2nd base turned his left ankle, and had to exit the game. He was reluctant to put pressure down on the ankle, which he has had problems with in the past, including last season when he missed most of the final three months of the season. No word yet on the severity of the injury.

With the loss, Bard falls to 1-4 on the season and gets his second blown save. Since 2009, Bard only has 4 other losses, and is looking to figure out how to get back on the right track as quickly as possible. Bobby Jenks, similarly terrible this year, threw a 26-pitch bullpen session, and is looking to get his first action in a rehab start in the coming week.

Sox take on the Indians tomorrow night at 7:10pm from Progressive Field. With the win tonight, Cleveland moves to 30-15 on the year, and 8-2 against the AL East thus far.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Classic


Everyone loves dogs. Not everyone loves when they do that hyper move that involves them doing the NFL Combine shuttle run across your living room, but all that aside, dogs are awesome.

Did this dog deserve what was coming to him? Probably, but he was unharmed, so there's no reason for worry.

Bruins Played 20 Minutes of Hockey


Last night’s Dunkin Donuts ‘Play for the Boston Bruins’ sweepstakes was ill-timed, as the bruins dropped Game 4 to even the series...wait, what? Oh, those were the real Bruins who played? Even the 2nd and 3rd periods?

Ah, well, one way or the other, the Lightning evened the Eastern Conference Finals at 2 games apiece by winning Game Four 5-3, with the next game coming Monday night in Boston.

Bergeron chalked up two goals, both on turnovers from the Lightning, with Ryder adding the other goal. The Lightning stormed back to score three in the second period, two of which came within two minutes of each other, both scored by Teddy Purcell. The Bolts would tack on one more, and then an empty net goal with under a minute to go, sealing the victory.

Like I said in the last post, this series is definitely going 7 games. It has to, these teams are just too damn good.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

It's God-Given


For all you kids out there who want to be big major league stars, just listen to Domingo. He teaches the basic fundamentals of hitting for average in a few very easy steps. Inside pitches, outside pitches and bunting. Classic.

"It's hitting for average, you can't put it in my wheelhouse, I hit a bomb!"

I think the best part about this video, and the numerous other videos he's made, is that he's clearly a nasty ballplayer. When he explains hitting a home run, it gets even better. Fundamentals, all day, hahaha.

Big Day for Boston


Bruins are in the first period of Game 4, leading the Lightning in the series 2 game to 1, and the Sox are turning back the clocks tonight against the Cubs, sporting uniforms from 1918.

Just so everyone knows, I will not be covering the Rapture. I was considering a live blog, but its just not in the cards.

BRUINS SCORE, PATRICE BERGERON, 1-0 BRUINS, LET'S GOOOOOOO

If the Bruins take this game, I think they'll easily sit atop the Eastern Conference in a few days, awaiting the Canucks (or

2-0 BRUINS, THEY STRIKE AGAIN. GOOOOOAAAAAAAAL. Chris Kelly poke checks the puck back into the Bruins offensive zone, picked up by Michael Ryder, who takes it down short side and

AGAIN! PATRICE BERGERON WITH THE UNASSISTED GOAL OFF THE TURNOVER! SHORTHANDED GOAL, 3-0 BRUINS!

In case anyone is wondering, I'm watching the Bruins game while attempting to write this post, and the Bruins are just going off right now. As I was saying, Ryder took the puck down, went to pass and it deflected off a stick and floated into the back of the net.

As for that last goal, Bergeron just straight up mugged the puck from Stamkos and lit the lap through Roloson's 5-hole. I'm going to continue to watch the game, and if you're reading, do the same.

Go B's. Go Sox.

Friday, May 20, 2011

"Macho Man' Randy Savage Dead at 58


No more flying elbows off the turnbuckles. No more Slim Jim commercials. No more Hulk Hogan beatdowns.

Macho Man Randy Savage died in a car accident yesterday afternoon at the age of 58. The wrestling community would not be what it is today without this man. In 1999, he defeated Bulls superstar Dennis Rodman in the ring, he won 4 heavyweight WCW titles and is a recognized face and name even to those who do not appreciate professional wrestling.

Savage played four years of minor league baseball before becoming a wrestler in 1985, and was son to a father who completed 6.033 sit-ups in four hours.

What Macho Man did for wrestling will never be forgotten, and neither will his performances in the ring. Rest in peace, Randy.

Big Cat Takes A Tumble


Jaime "Big Cat" De Pena was not only put on the 10-day DL by the Fenway Park Grounds Crew, but received mentions on Sports Nation, Pardon the Interruption, Around the Horn and even the month of April's Not Top 10, coming in at number 2, only beaten by Charles Barkley's golf swing.

Here's to you, Big Cat.

And just in case you can't get enough, here's what the tarp crew in Florida has had to deal with over the years.

BREAKING NEWS: Another One Of Lance's Teammates Wants 15 More Minutes of Fame!


@LanceArmstrong - 20+ year career. 500 drug controls worldwide, in and out of competition. Never failed a test. I rest my case.

What else needs to be said, really?

American cyclist, and former teammate of Armstong, Tyler Anderson played Benedict Arnold on the latest "60 Minutes." Anderson is claiming that he saw Armstong inject himself.

"I saw it in his refrigerator, I saw him inject it... more than one time," said a shaky Anderson. When asked if he physically saw Armstrong inject himself, this shady bastard replied, 'Yeah, like, we all did. Like, I did, many many times.'

Look, Tyler... You used PEDs, and got caught. Floyd Landis, you did the same thing. You used drugs, you're now irrelevant. Lance Armstrong won 7-straight Tour de France's. Like he said, he has been racing for over 20 years. When you use drugs like that, they wear on your body, making it damn near impossible to keep up what he had for that long.

So please shut up, Lance Armstong is better than you are, or ever will me.

Crawford Gets 3rd Walk-off Hit, Sox win 4-3

Photo Courtesy: AP/Charles Krupa


For the third week in a row, Carl Crawford has lifted the Boston Red Sox past their opponents in the bottom of the 9th inning with a walk-off hit.

After struggling mightily out of the gate, Crawford is slowly turning things around in May. Crawford is only hitting .212 on the season, with an OBP of just .249. But consider if you were in the second month of a 7-year, $142 million contract - you don't think that price tag on your forehead might make things a little bit tougher?

With his clutch performances, a certain weight has been lifted off of his shoulders, but the fans in Boston need more. Crawford will not make it the entire season off of the benefit of the doubt he is getting right now.

As for Thursday's game between the Detroit Tigers and the Red Sox, there may not be a better pitching match-up than that of Justin Verlander and Josh Beckett. Both teams scraped across a run in the second inning with the Sox taking a 2-1 lead after 4, but other than that, Verlander and Beckett roared through this game that was on pace to be completed in just two and a half hours.

That all came unraveled in the top of the 8th inning. Daniel Bard came in looking for the hold, but instead gave up back-to-back shots to Brennan Boesch and Miguel Cabrera. Thanks to Big Papi David Ortiz's solo blast a half inning earlier, the game was knotted up at 3 apiece.

To the bottom of the 9th we go. Kevin Youkilis drew a leadoff walk, and Jose Iglesias came in to pinch-run. Big Papi hit a single to right-center, allowing Iglesias to move to third. With runners on the corners, JD Drew earned himself an intentional walk after his bomb in the 4th inning. Bases full of Sox, Jed Lowire had an impressive at-bat that ended in a bloop single and a force-out at home as Iglesias was forced to hold in case the ball was caught.

Once Ortiz was at third, Darnell McDonald was called upon to pinch run. Austin Jackson, playing shallow to avoid the cheap base hit, would not have had a chance on Crawford's frozen rope to deep center even if he were playing at normal depth. McDonald came across, and the Sox are now proud owners of a 6-game winning streak.

"You always want to get a hit in those situations," Crawford said. "You want to win the game - you don't want to go to extra innings. You just try to tell yourself to focus a little harder and hope for the best."

Crawford strategy has paid off for him once a week since the end of April. May 1st, May 9th and May 19th have all been walk-off victories thanks to Crawford.

Tonight's game is between the Sox and the visiting National League Central Division Chicago Cubs. This will be the Cubs first visit to Fenway Park since Game 6 of the 1918 World Series 93 years ago.

Doug Davis (0-1, 1.80 ERA) vs Jon Lester (5-1, 3.28 ERA)

Go Sox

As if the video itself isn't awesome enough, the song choice by the stadium is perfect. There's nothing better than a college baseball rain delay.

Working at Fenway Park, we've dealt with rain in each of the last 4 home series. I would even take the old Papelbon and Delcarmen rain delay video(which Big Baby makes a cameo in in this guy's video, hahaha) for a little entertainment, but I think the players at least need to bring back sliding on the tarp or something. I know anyone on the Sox could get hurt sneezing at this point, but come on, live a little.

And in case you wanted more college baseball shenanigans, here ya' go.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Tyler Seguin's Time to Shine is Now for Bruins


(Photo Courtesy of Boston.com)

The Bruins head into tonight’s game tied 1-1 with the Lightning, courtesy of Tyler Seguin’s emergence into the playoffs.

Tuesday’s win marked the first Conference Finals victory for the B’s since 1991, and removed the proverbial monkey from their backs in the process.

But if you look at any legitimate Stanley Cup champion, they generally have a clear cut star. Aside from Tim Thomas, or maybe even Zdeno Chara, this team simply doesn’t have it.

The remaining teams out west have the stars: the Canucks have the Sedin twins, the sharks have Joe Thornton(you’re welcome San Jose), Patrick Marleau and Dany Heatley. Tampa Bay has an equally star-studded roster, with players like Steven Stamkos, Marty St. Louis, and Vincent Lecavalier delivering on a nightly basis.

The Bruins, however, find themselves in a different position, relying on relatively obscure players, sorry Patrice Bergeron and David Krejci, and scrappy players such as Chris Kelly and Brad Marchand. And while there’s no denying Bergeron and Krejci’s skills, they just don’t have that superstar swagger. Not yet anyway.

The 1991 squad had Ray Borque, a bona-fide all star, as well as Cam Neely, a Bruins legend in his own right. But Ray Borque isn’t walking through that door. Cam Neely isn’t going to lace them up tonight either.

This year’s squad needs a playoff superstar, badly. Seguin’s performance could be a sign that he is that star. And Bruins fans hope he is, after the team invested the No. 2 overall pick in him.

Maybe Seguin’s career will take off from this point forward. With the loss of Marc Savard, we can only pray it will.

The puck drops at 8:00 tonight in St. Pete, and Seguin will be in the lineup, along with Bergeron. Expect Shawn Thornton to sit out this one to make room for the recently healthy Bergey.

-Q Man

Good Luck


Try Not To Laugh Challenge - Watch more Funny Videos
Just try not to laugh, let me know how it goes for you.

Burnin' Down The House


You can watch this video for the first minute and a half, and maybe not find it funny, but stick with it. Take into consideration what's happening. This is in the middle of an entire congregation, the organist is trying to keep up with whatever time signature he's pulling off, and some random dudes eventually just start singing really loud to try to cover him up. If that's not enough for you, then the solo breakdown or penguin dance (2:55) might put you over the edge.

Bruins - Bolts: Game 3 Preview


The Boston Bruins are on the road tonight at the St. Pete Times Forum for Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The B's were one game away from reaching this stage last year, when something happened, no one really remembers.... But this year, they beat the Canadiens in 7 games, swept the Flyers, and are knotted up at 1 game apiece with the Tampa Bay Lightning.

19-year-old rookie Tyler Seguin came out banging on all cylinders the first two games so far. He has five points in the series, including two goals in the last tilt. Nathan Horton chalked up three points of his own in the 6-5 Bruins victory. Was it Tim Thomas' best game? Not even close. At times, he looked confused, with little to no help from his defense. The penalty-kill lines looked like they were formed by the equipment managers and a few fans, and need to be able to lock down the dangerous power play of Tampa Bay.

The Lightning may be the fastest team in the league this year, and are a serious threat to the livelihood of Boston. Stamkos, Lecavalier, and St. Louis are three snipers who know how to score against Thomas. Hopefully Claude Julien whipped the shoddy defense into shape yesterday, otherwise we could be in trouble.

Final score: 4-2, Lightning. The Bruins have the advantage of home-ice for Game 7, and I think it'll take all seven of those games for a winner. Tough loss tonight, but nothing the Bruins can't come back from.

Go B's

Do the Sharks Have a Chance?


No. This fight says it all. The San Jose Sharks are a good team, there is no doubt about it. They handled the Bruins 2-0 in February, one of the most frustrating games to watch (even though there are so many to pick from over the course of the '10-'11 B's season.)

When they reach the third period, the Sharks fall apart like the Yankees in the '04 ALCS. Between that and the dominance of the Vezina Trophy-candidate Roberto Luongo between the pipes for the Vancouver Canucks, the Sharks look like they're done.

Look Who's Back


I'm aware this is about the 4th time I've had a post stating that we're back in action, but school's out, and we don't have much else to do.

For those of you who missed the celebrity birthday updates, funny videos, Sox and Bruins features, or wrestling promos (nevermind the dozens of other pieces we serve up daily,) dry your tears and keep scrolling up the page.

I'm living in Boston working at Fenway Park this summer, and Ben is back in Maine, currently hunting down a job since he graduated less than a week ago, so follow us in our journey to greatness.