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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

You Know What Grinds My Gears?

The elevator. First thought of by Archimedes of Rome in 236 B.C. The first electric elevator was completed in 1880 by Werner von Siemens. Needless to say, they've been around for a pretty long time.

I work at Fenway Park as a "greeter" which is really the same thing as an usher, they just developed the position so that we were not in the usher's union. But anywho, I work on the third and fourth levels of Fenway, close to the elevators by Gate D.

There are elevators in almost every public building these days, and people use them pretty often, because let's be real, stairs are obnoxious a lot of the time. So when people come to Fenway for a Sox game and they encounter these elevators, I know its not the first time they've experienced the thrill.

My first question is, why would elevators at Fenway Park be any different than one in, say, an apartment building? Right, they wouldn't be.

Over the past homestand, I have heard multiple people have some sort of issue with the elevators because they are unsure of "elevator policy" I guess you could call it.

"Can you only get off this elevator?" Yes, sir, you can only get off of the elevator, not on. First you have to wish really hard that you'll magically teleport into the damn thing, then by all means, go crazy and step off on whatever floor will tickle your fancy.

"Can you go down on these elevators, too?" No, dude, sorry. You can only go up in them, like the bridges from Super Mario that you jump across (0:56). The elevator just keeps going up til it disappears, then a new one appears at the bottom, its amazing.

So, what really grinds my gears is those people who are unfamiliar with how to use an elevator. Get in, hit the button of the floor you want to go to, and get out. Don't ask questions.

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