Birthday Shout-Out(s)

Here's to all those born on June 30th.

Mike Tyson
Michael Phelps
Victoria Crawford
Trevor Ariza
Delwyn Young
Chan-Ho Park
Mark Grudzielanek
Mitch Richmond
David Alan Grier
King Charles VIII of France

Penis Missing!?!

TIME.com - Did someone sabotage the Egyptian king's mummy to hide his less-than endowed genitalia? A new report from The New Scientist presents the possibility of a anatomical conspiracy.

Earlier this year, scientists speculated the cause of famed King Tutankhamen's death to be due to a bone disorder and a bad case of malaria, but just last week a group of German researchers overruled that diagnosis. Instead, they say the 19-year-old pharaoh suffered from sickle-cell anemia, a genetic abnormality in red blood cells that ultimately causes organ failure.

While researching the new prognosis for The New Scientist,journalist Jo Marchant uncovered another proposed ailment of Tut's. A letter published in the Journal of the American Medical Association suggests that Tut could also have suffered from Antley-Bixler syndrome, a genetic mutation that yields strange physical effects, such as elongated skulls and even under-developed genitalia. (Some researchers support the theory and use artistic depictions of Tut and his relatives, often show with elongated faces, as proof.)

Egypt's chief archaeologist Zahi Hawass dismisses the theory, claiming that Tut was, in fact, well-developed. However, as Marchant points out, Tut's penis is no longer attached to the body. After some digging, Marchant was able to confirm that the king's genitalia was attached to the mummy during its first unwrapping in 1922, meaning the postmortem castration likely occurred in modern times. Interestingly, Tut's penis was declared missing in 1968 until a CT scan discovered it hidden in the sand that surrounded the mummy.

This evidence has lead some, including Marchant to believe that Tut's penis was swapped sometime after his body was embalmed, suggesting a conspiracy existed to save him from embarrassment of the locker room variety, even in the afterlife.


Ah, the age old tale of 'where did the penis go?' Seriously though, this is some bizarre shit. I read this and all I could say was 'are you kidding me.' King Tut's penis went missing OR perhaps he had a tiny dick. My favorite part of this whole story was when Zahi Hawass, some "famed archeologist" immediately dismissed accusations that Tut's member was small but was in fact, "well-developed". I'm not sure how decaying bodies and mummification work but wouldn't his junk be fairly decomposed? Unless Zahi was giving Tut's dead member HJ's and ZJ's while the lights were out how does he know his member was so well-developed.

I think the real story should be how this necrophiliac has a job while my ass is still unemployed.

As if that wasn't good enough the story continues about some crazy conspiracy where Tut was unwrapped and then his dick was there but then it was gone...and then it was in the sand but some people think someone replaced it and is now running around the streets with his dick probably tied around their neck. Like WTF people... This is some serious shit. Can someone call up Michael Moore and get him to reveal this terrible case of whodunnit in a documentary?!

Quarters Are Set

The Round of 16 finished up yesterday with 2 wickedly exciting games. Paraguay-Japan gave us out first penalty shootout of the tournament, and two of the world's best, Spain and Portugal fought it out for 90 minutes, the world number one living up to their ranking. So we're all set for the quarterfinal match-ups starting Friday at 9:30am EST.

The first match is between the Netherlands and Brazil. Brazil seems to be heating up of late, really finding their stride, and really working together as a team. Netherlands is one of two undefeated or untied teams in the tournament, and they play with such poise, precision and determination, it will be tough to stop them. I think in the end, Brazil will become frustrated at seeing their runs killed over and over by the stalwart Dutch defense, and what will ultimately bring them down will be a strong counterattack from The Flying Dutchmen. I wouldn't be surprised if this game ended 3-2.

Netherlands advances.

Later in the day at 2pm EST, Uruguay will take on Africa's last hope, Ghana. As we saw in the Ghana-USA game, Ghana's speed is tough to beat, but they can be worn down. Uruguay is a tough defensive team as well, and they may not have to tweak their game plan much to be successful. Both attacks will be fun to watch, but when it's all said and done, i think Uruguay will walk away, 2-1.

Uruguay advances.

Saturday, the match-up of a lifetime hits the pitch, when Germany faces Argentina. Argentina is one of the strongest looking teams in the field, and are still my favorites to win it all. The attacking force of Klose, Ozil and Podolski is tough to stop, but with the chemistry La Albiceleste are working with, I think shutting them down will be more than reasonable. The magical Lionel Messi is still looking to break through and net his first goal of the Cup, and will look to send Argentina into the semis. Although both teams seem to score at will, I think we'll see a 1-0 game.

Argentina advances.

Finally, powerhouse Spain takes on Paraguay. Only one South American team has been eliminated so far, but this match will be quite a contest. Spain did the seemingly impossible when David Villa scored against Portugal to advance in a 1-0 win. Their world number one ranking could also be somewhat of an advantage for support. Paraguay is an excellent team. They struggled against Japan but were tough defensively and used every attacking chance to its fullest, This game will be exciting, but I think another 1-0 win is in sight for La Furia.

Spain advances.

Go World.

Who Dat??

Alright folks, its time to play a little game I like to call 'Who Dat??'. Who walks with so much swagger even the walls of an Applebee's cant hold a candle to him? Who only owns overalls just 'cause? Who can sling shot two Japanese beetles getting it on? Who single-handedly built the wall of China and invented hop-scotch?

He goes by the simple name Rufus, or Rufus the 'sling-shot man'. I'm confident this simple ol' timer will secure a spot as one of the greats of human history, but hey I'm just one opinion. Take a look and see what you think. Greatness.

Valley Warrior's Movie Clip of the Week

You're welcome, Kyle. And you're welcome too, World. Let's dance.

Baby Names - What the f...

So my friend and I are driving back to his house to play some NHL 09, your typical Sunday night. We somehow got on the topic of baby names, an infuriating subject for me. So we're talking about how a guy that he works with was talking to another fellow co-worker who works at one of the local hospitals. She was telling him about a baby name she just saw: La-a.

No, that's not a typo. The baby's name was La-a, pronounced "Ladasha." Are you kidding me? Are people just trying to be funny? Sure, its original, if by original you mean fucking stupid. Stop putting symbols in your child's name, and stop using random nouns, too. Here's a list of ridiculous baby names that make me want to hurt things.

Kal-El Coppola - Nic Cage...Figures...
Moxie CrimeFighter - Penn Jillette. As a doctor, no, as a mother, nay... As a human being...How do you allow that to happen?
Blue Angel - The Edge and Aislinn O'Sullivan
Jazz Domino - Joe Strummer
Liberty - Ryan Giggs. I heart Ryan Giggs, great name, bud.
Apple - Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow. I think Gwyneth is awesome, and for a guy who can think up like 100 songs worth of lyrics, he can't think of something other than a food for a name?!
Heaven - Lil' Mo. How fucking conceited can you be.
Moon Unit, Dweezil, Diva Muffin - Frank Zappa. I'm done here.

Reasons Why Emma Watson Would Date Me

I'm back at it folks, and just like Michael Jordan's triumphant return to the NBA in 95', I plan on securing the equivalent of that in blogger rings. You may be asking yourself several questions during my hiatus, such as, 'where have you been?', 'who are you?,' and 'please tell me your single.'

We'll get to that later, but first ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you I have seen the heights of Everest, drank tea with the Dhali Lama, and pondered all of life's questions with the world's finest buddhist monks. What I have come to discover through these introspective activities, are several reasons as to why Emma Watson would date me. Please excuse this post due to the fact my head is so clouded with Harry Potter after I recently pounded out all 6 movies within two days. So with out further adieu here they are.

First and foremost, I generally start my day around 2pm with a little wake and shake or two, I do this without breaking a sweat so she already knows I'm the man. Ladies you like that stuff, right? Next I bowl a solid 250 on Wii Bowling stomping out any competition, being my grandmother or direct family members. Finally, I could cast any spell or recite any lines from the books or movies, that's gotta be some bonus points. If all these don't do it for her, I still feel I have a chance after recently creeping on her to find out her recent boyfriend is an absolute vagina .

So what do you think? Do I have a shot at love?

2-0 Argentina!

Argentina was onsides this time, and with some nice footwork by Gonzalo Higuain, stole the ball and may have potentially stolen the match. That was Higuain's 4th goal in his 6th international cap.

GOL!

ARGENTINA SCORES IN THE 27TH MINUTE, 1-0 LA ALBICELESTE!

Three Lions Caged

England is the third team out of the World Cup in the knockout stages, falling to European rivals Germany, 4-1. The Germans wait to see the winner of the Argentina-Mexico game, in the middle of the first half now.

Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski put England in a headlock with 2 goals in the 20th and 32th minute respectively. However, Matthew Upson headed on a ball crossed by Steven Gerrard and scored 5 minutes later. And it wouldn't be a World Cup game without some referee controversy.

Frank Lampard played a loose ball at the top of the box, and dropped one over the head of German keeper Manuel Neuer, off the crossbar and in. Or was it? The ball clearly bounced a foot or two past the goal line, but popped back out into the hands on the keeper, and the call on the field was no goal. Unbelievably tough break for England.

"The goal was very important. We could have played a different style," said England coach Fabio Capello. And that's absolutely true. Game tied or not, in the second half, the English defense looked very similar to the US defense last night, very slow and possibly asleep. Two counterstrike goals were scored, pushing this game out of reach, 4-1.

Germany played an extremely good game, and for all of England's struggles in the group stage, this comes as no surprise. England is the 8th European team to get knocked out of the Cup.

Infomercial Of The Week

Back again. "It don't oscillate no mo'!" Even your failed CDs. You cannot stop him.

U.S.A. Is O-U-T

Stunning loss for the Yanks today. They went down early in regulation, down early in extra time, and down early in the chase for the Cup, losing 2-1 to Ghana. Ghana will face Uruguay in the quarterfinals match-up.

It took only 5 minutes for the Black Stars to get on the scoresheet. Kevin-Prince Boateng was practically given a goal by the still cold defense. Ricardo Clark misplayed the ball, and could not catch up to Boateng as he shot a low roller by Howard to the near post. 2 minutes later, Clark was booked for a reckless challenge, receiving a yellow card. A poor decision by US manager Bob Bradley to even start Clark in the match today, Bradley then chose to use their first of three subs on replacing him with Maurice Edu 31 minutes in.

The Stars and Stripes were dying a slow death, with the Ghanaians running the show for practically all of the first half. Benny Feilhaber came in to replace a lackluster Robbie Findley at the start of the half. I don't know what it was Coach Bradley said during the break, but USA came out firing. They put pressure on the defenders, and didn't give the Ghana forwards any breathing room.

Ghana seemed to start panicking, and in the 61st minute, finally, the US' chance to shine. Clint Dempsey was caught from the back to the right side of the box, and the US was awarded a penalty kick. Landon Donovan lined it up, and struck it perfectly off the right post and in. Tie game, 1-1.

Going into extra time, the US looked flat out tired. Herculez Gomes was subbed in for an uncharacteristically lazy Jozy Altidore. Unfortunately, the tired US legs just couldn't keep up with the Black Stars. The final nail in the coffin was smashed in by Asamoah Gyan 3 minutes into extra time. Again, a slip-up on defense led to the easy goal. At that point, the cord had been pulled clean out of the Americans.

The clock struck midnight on the US, as for the second World Cup in a row, their last game was a 2-1 lost to the Ghanaians.

4th No-Hitter In 3 Months

Ubaldo Jimenez, Dallas Braden, Roy Halladay, Edwin Jackson. What do all four of these men have in common? They have all thrown no-hitters in the 2010 season. Alright, so Braden and Halladay kicked it up a notch with perfect games, but still...What the hell is going on lately? Four no-hitters, a rookie bursting on the scene and striking out 41 in his first 4 starts, and we're looking at about twenty-five 10 game winners by the All-Star break. Maybe it's something in the water, but it seems like in 2010, defense will take a backseat, and pitching will win the championship.

Jackson's no-hitter last night was no walk in the park, although there were plenty of walks. He threw almost 150 pitches in the effort, and handed out 8 free passes. You know who else handed out 8 free passes and pitched a no-hitter? 1-Nolan Ryan. And 2-Dock Ellis. Difference between the three? Dock Ellis was on LSD.

This hasn't been a particularly off year for the offense, either. It just seems like pitchers have been doing their homework lately. Wonder if chicks still dig the long ball now...

Uruguay Moves On

South Korea fought hard, but in the cold rain Uruguay came away with a 2-1 victory. Luis Suarez scored both goals, with Lee Chung-Yong scoring for the South Koreans.

Suarez's first goal came in just the 8th minute, with a pass that went clean across the face of the goal, drawing keeper Jung Sung-Ryong, enabling Suarez to put in the cross easily off his left foot. The match went without too much action for the rest of the half.

In the 68th minute, Chung-Yong scored off a ball played into the box that he headed on for the equalizing goal. Uruguay wasn't about to go away. On the attack, their forwards did some solid passing, until Suarez inched closer to the left corner of the 18 yard box, and ripped a bending shot off the far post and in to unknot the contest. Beautiful goal.

So Uruguay will move on to play the winner of the USA-Ghana match coming up in just about 2 hours.

I Love Sports

I caught some ESPYs nomination show on ESPN2 after watching TCU roll over UCLA in the College Baseball World Series, and ti reminded me of one of the greatest moment in award show history. I'm a nice guy, so I thought I'd share it with you, sports fans. 4:16 is solid gold.

Round of 16

All the first round group stage games are complete. Now its time for the real World Cup action, the knockout stages. The field of 16 is set, and the match-ups range from two unlikely opponents, to old rivalries, to expected finals meetings.

I'll obviously be looking forward to the matches tomorrow, first to see who will be the USA's potential next competition, then to see if they can get past Ghana to play another round.

Picks: Uruguay to face USA. I don't think South Korea can keep up any longer, and Uruguay seemed to have no trouble in their group play. As for the USA, I know Ghana will have the support of an entire continent as their 12th man, but I think the US has too much momentum, and are too ready to move on.

On Sunday, perhaps the four biggest names in the greatest sporting event on earth will square off. England, the dark horse of the tournament, up against Germany, 2006's third place finisher, and Argentina, my personal favorite to win, against Mexico, who looked uncharacteristically shaky in group play.

Picks: Germany to face Argentina. Some big names have already fallen from the tournament, and England's performance in Group C doesn't give me any confidence in them. And many people have had their shots to take at Diego Maradona, but I think his knowledge of the game has rubbed off on La Albiceleste and will give them yet another reason for the upper hand against Mexico.

To start your Monday off right, the powerhouse Netherlands team, winning all three group stage games, will take on Slovakia, capitalizing on Italy's early exit from Group F. Then perennial favorite, Brazil will take on fellow South Americans, Chile.

Picks: Netherlands to face Brazil. The Netherlands have just rolled over their competition, and seem too strong to be stopped by the Slovaks. While Chile battled valiantly against La Furia, I don't think that Brazil will go down easy. They know what is at stake, and have not played fewer than 5 matches since 1990. They are experienced, and I have no doubt they want to establish themselves as the top South American team.

And the final day of the Round of 16 on Tuesday, features Paraguay and the surprise nation of Japan. The later match will be another pre-Cup potential Finals match-up. A hungry Portugal squad will face the favorites, star-studded Spain.

Picks: Paraguay to face Spain. South American is harvested respect from the entire world, and I don't think that Japan's style of play will hold up for 90 minutes against Paraguay. Brazil-Portugal will probably be the most exciting game of this round. The two teams are heavily favorited, but since flopping doesn't appear anywhere on the stat sheet, the Portuguese will be headed home at night's end.

Wow.

I know i just posted this as a link in the last post, but in case you bastards didn't take the time to read it, here's the video, free of charge. The good ol' days of MJ...

Having Trouble With Your New iPhone?

Users of the new iPhone 4 have had only a few complaints, but one of them being the giant issue of dropped reception. The problem is caused by the area where the antenna is housed being very sensitive to human skin. So what does the co-founder and CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs have to say about it?

"All phones have sensitive areas. Just avoid holding it that way."


People are going batty over this. They're firing questions at Steve Jobs left and right trying to figure out just why this is happening. Is it a design flaw, does it differ from phone to phone, how can they protect the area, yada yada yada. The fact that Jobs is just responding by telling them to stop and hold it differently is phenomenal. I don't know any other person in America that could make people stop and go "well, I guess that makes sense" after considering the dumbest suggestion known to man.

Apple screwed up, and their advice is to buy the $30 bumper guard that protects the area. I would never have an iPhone in the first place, but I can understand why people are pissed about this, and about Jobs telling them to hold it differently. But at the same time, brilliantly played. It's like watching Maradona charge downfield and deke defender after defender, or watching something in slow motion while the "Requiem for a Dream" theme plays. Pulling that off and not getting killed is damn near epic. Well played, Jobs.

By the way, do yourself a favor and click on that link about the Requiem thing.

Paparazzi - Violin Cover

Paid a visit to Barstool today, and saw this video. No one likes Lady Gaga, but everyone loves her, and nobody doesn't like a mean violin cover. Keep it up.

Offseason Update

The Bruins have been wheeling and dealing, lately. Tonight is the 2010 NHL Draft out in Los Angeles, but the Bruins have been multi-tasking.

They have already made a few key moves to bolster the 2010-2011 roster. Earlier today, they signed the unrestricted free agent winger Mark Recchi to a 1-year deal, which comes a day after signing defenseman Johnny Boychuck to a 2-year contract extension. Another big move the B's completed was to send defenseman Dennis Wideman, their 15th round draft pick, and a third round pick in the 2011 Draft to the Florida Panthers for forwards Nathan Horton and Gregory Campbell. Both are veterans of about 400 games, and have put up decent numbers, especially considering they played for the Florida Panthers.

The draft begins tonight at 7pm EST, and Boston will look to make further key additions to get them over the Eastern Conference Finals hump in 2011.

Seriously, Papelbon?

Twice in as many nights, a blown save. He's lucky Pedey saved his ass last night going 5-5, hitting 3 laser shots in a 10-inning, 13-11 victory at Coors Field. He got the undeserved win, and a loss the night before bringing his record to 3-4 with 16 extremely shaky saves.

The Fenway Faithful always erupt when he comes out in the ninth, but I think that's just become a reaction to hearing the Dropkick Murphys' "Shipping Up to Boston" echoing through the Park. The slow look in, with the tough guy face. The 4 second pause before he snaps off his quick delivery. The quick reaction of most hitters to seeing a 96mph middle-in fastball on almost any count.

Papelbon is still a premiere closer, but his act has gone to his head. Hitters have finally got their dials set on Paps' station. If Terry Francona is going to send someone to the hill to close a game out in the ninth, relying on basically just a fastball, then why not Daniel Bard? The kid has proven himself time and time again, and learns from his mistakes. Oh yeah, and he can throw 101mph heat. Papelbon needs to focus more on his game, not on his image if the Sox want to hang on to these 1 or 2 run ball games.

USA - Ghana, Tomorrow 2pm

The final group stage games were played out today, with the final 2 in the second half right now. (Spain 2 - Chile 1, Switzerland 0 - Honduras 0). The Brazil-Portugal 0-0 tie was extremely disappointing. Neither team really had to do anything, but I can imagine the 64,000 that packed in to see the action were quite dejected after the lackluster performance.

Tomorrow begins the knockout stages, starting with the USA-Ghana game at 2pm on ABC. Even if you didn't care about the World Cup before now, you should start caring. In 2006, the US lost their final group stage match against Ghana 2-1, and now have a perfect shot at revenge. Riding the momentum from Landon Donovan's goal in the 91st minute against Algeria, the US will look to keep their attacking game sharp against a newly defensive-minded Black Stars squad.

The game will be as tense as any match, with the US knowing that they have one of the best shots at a potential semi-finals appearance. The winner of this next game will go on to face the winner of Uruguay-South Korea, a match that the US would be favored in. Find some friends, tune in to ABC tomorrow, and get crazy.

Go USA.

There Can Only Be One

13 years ago this guy started. If you didn't watch the video, the Naked Cowboy is trying to sue an imposter, the Naked Cowgirl for copyright infringement. I mean, hey, I don't blame the guy. What's better is this newcast is completely serious, they even bring in an attorney to justify Naked's case. I love the end, when they pull some quotes from people on Facebook, too. Classic on all accounts.

Meet Daniel Nava

NESN.com - After getting cut from his college team at Santa Clara University, Nava opted to enroll at a junior college, only to play so well that Santa Clara took him back for his senior year, during which he hit .395 in 54 games.

Still, the switch-hitting Nava was not drafted out of college, leaving him with the option of playing independent ball at Chico of the Golden League. After another stellar season that saw him hit .371 with 12 homers, Nava re-emerged on the radars of major league clubs, earning the honor of Baseball America’s top independent league prospect.

The Red Sox certainly took notice, and Nava has had a meteoric rise through their system.


The Sox have had more than their share of troubles in the outfield so far this season. Mike Cameron is just crawling back into the mix, Jacoby Ellsbury is still a huge question mark. JD Drew just went down, as did Jeremy Hermida. Bill Hall has been a huge asset off the bench, as have the likes of Darnell McDonald and Josh Reddick from Pawtucket.

The latest call-up was Daniel Nava on June 12th. His first major league game was going to be against the National League Champion Philadelphia Phillies. Nava wasted no time settling in. First pitch, grand slam. In the 10 games, Nava has played, and the 24 at-bats he's taken, he has driven in 10, scored 6 runs with an average of .382. Not bad for an undrafted college walk-on.

Nava highlights

Seinfeld Hates Gaga

CNN.com - Lady Gaga may have millions of fans, but Jerry Seinfeld isn't one of them.

In a recent interview with WFAN radio, the comedian took the controversial singer to task for the June 10 baseball brouhaha in which she flipped the bird at the New York Mets game before moving from her front-row seats to an empty luxury box owned by Seinfeld.

"This woman is a jerk. I hate her. I can't believe they put her in my box, which I paid for," joked the 56-year-old Mets fan. "You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we're living in now?"

Thank you, Mr. Seinfeld. I love how the guy who wrote this says "joked the 56-year-old Mets fan." Look, just because he's a comedian doesn't mean he can't be serious. I hate the thing, too, Jer. Love the call-out, here.

Buckets...

Are You Kidding Me...

YahooSports.com - — It's the longest match in tennis history: 9 hours, 58 minutes. The previous record was 6 hours, 33 minutes.
— Longest set in tennis history: 118 games.
— Most games in Wimbledon history: 153 (previous record was 112).
— Both players broke the ATP record for most aces in a match. Isner had 98, Mahut hit 94. The previous record was 78. Combined, the two had 192 aces, more than double the old record of 84.
— Mahut had just three break points during the entire match.
— The first four sets took 2 hours, 54 minutes. The fifth set is at 7 hours, 4 minutes and counting.
— Mahut won 448 points to Isner's 428. Isner had more winners: 333 to 318.
— The final set is longer than the previous longest match in tennis history. That was 6 hours, 33 minutes.
— Isner had four match points, one at 11-10, two others at 33-32 and another at 59-58. The first and last match points came nearly six hours apart.
— At 50-50, Mahut had two break points and Isner promptly served a 134 mph ace.
— With Mahut serving at 52-53, the pair exchanged a 16-shot rally which ended with a Mahut forehand winner. It was the longest rally of the match. On the next point, Mahut dove for a backhand at the baseline following another long rally.
— The players took their first bathroom break at 58-58. While walking in the tunnel, they exchanged pleasantries, the first time they had spoken all evening.
— Mahut only qualified for Wimbledon after winning a qualifier match in a 24-22 final set.
— The match is almost two hours longer than the longest Major League Baseball game in history (an 8:06 game between the White Sox and Brewers in 1984).
— The scoreboard stopped working at 47-47.

This is absolutely unreal. The American John Isner, ranked 23rd in the Tournament is up against Nicolas Mahut in the most literal see-saw match in history. This thing started Monday afternoon. Thank god they don't have lights on the court otherwise people might be dead. I don't usually watch tennis that much, but you kind of have to here. In the time these two have played, you could..

Watch 4 of the 6 'Star Wars' movies.
Fly From JFK to Rome.
Finish the Ironman Triathlon (if you're pretty good)
Work your 9-5, come home, have dinner and play with the kids.
Watch 3 baseball games
Listen to 4 live Dave Matthews Band setlists.
Solve a Rubik's Cube.
Answer most of life's questions.
Play about 170 games of Mario Kart.

Have fun.

USA! USA! USA!

IN THE 91ST MINUTE OF THE MATCH, JOZY ALTIDORE CROSSES A BALL IN FROM THE RIGHT SIDE, CLINT DEMPSEY'S SHOT IS DENIED, REBOUNDED BEAUTIFULLY BY LANDON DONOVAN WHO NETS THE GAME'S ONLY GOAL TO THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER PUTTING THE STARS AND STRIPES ON TOP OF POOL C!!!

Honestly, that was the most painful match to watch for the full 90 minutes. Time and time again, corners and free kicks were wasted. Headers flew yards over the net, rebounds were spoiled wide, Dempsey was wrongly called offsides then denied himself of another 2 goals. Just agonizing to watch. It looked like the referees were going to take the top of Pool C. The US team just outplayed and out-hustled Algeria in every fashion.

Decent shots were put on goal for the Desert Foxes, but easily handled by keeper Tim Howard. The US had 20 shots, 8 on goal, but seemed like they were attacking every other minute, holding the ball 54% of the match. Personally, I gave up on the US in about the 87th minute, but once I saw the extra four minutes, I knew they still had a spark. Hell of a game, hell of a finish.

The Yanks will wait to see who their opponents from Pool D will be later this afternoon.

Ubaldo Jimenez Not

There's just something about Interleague Play that kicks the Sox into gear. This year, they have been 10-2 against their National League opponents. Last night, their six-game winning streak came to an end against the Colorado Rockies in Denver.

Jhoulys Chacin started for the Rockies. He had lost 6 of his last 7 decisions, but against the Red Sox, looked as good as anybody out there. He pitched 7 innings giving up a hit and striking out seven. Mike Cameron drove in Adrian Beltre in the ninth inning for the Sox only run of the game.

Having an off night is one thing, but when you're going to be facing the 13-1 Ubaldo Jimenez the next night, that could be an issue. The Sox have not lost a series since the 14-16th of May.

England vs Slovenia - First Half

Jermain Defoe netted the first goal of the match in the 22nd minute to give England an early advantage and strong momentum going into the half in just a minute.

In front of 40,000, these two teams are both lighting up the pitch. Not a particularly clean game, but that's perfect for the rough and tough Three Lions. England needs a victory to move on to the next round. A draw, and USA will have to draw and be outscored by 3 goals. A loss, and one of the world's most prestigious teams will be headed for an early shower.

USA vs Algeria - First Half

In case anyone didn't see what happened in the USA-Slovenia match, this was milliseconds before Maurice Edu put away USA's third unanswered goal to take a 3-2 lead. Only problem is, the goal was disallowed, and the US took a 2-2 draw.

Today's match against Algeria is in the 37th minute right now, and it's deja vu all over again. Another goal disallowed citing Dempsey offsides. The US just had 3 excellent scoring chances in a row, and they seem to be hot on the trail of a goal. Algeria is using an extra striker today, and without Oguchi Onyewu, the Yanks will have to be wary of the counterattack.

Go USA.

Only Between the Two Florida Baseball Clubs Would This Be A Story

Last night, the Florida Marlins organization had the brilliant idea of handing out some 15,000 miniature vuvuzelas to fans entering Sun Life Stadium. It was done to coincide with the World Cup in South Africa, in which the national instrument is the vuvuzela, and they have been out in full force at every game.

For the entire game, the umpiring crew, and several players, wore ear plugs to try to block out the drone-like sounds. Joe Maddon wasn't too impressed with the noise.

"They're annoying," Maddon said. "I mean, there's cool things and there's very non-cool things. That's a non-cool thing. It just doesn't make any sense."

Settle down, Joe! No need for anyone to get hurt over this.

Dewayne Staats, a Tampa Bay Rays announcer, was upset that two Rays fans were not allowed to bring their cowbells into the park that night. "That's just not right. These vuvuzelas, they're for soccer. Cowbells have a deep and rich baseball history." I'm not so sure I agree with that, but I do know that Mr. Staats, seems to have a fever, and there's only one prescription for that...

And look, to that lady in the picture: it's a ballgame, not the playground. Get your dejected expression and small child out of there, you're better than that.

Italy vs New Zealand

The Kiwis did the impossible today. While they didn't get a victory, the 78th ranked team in the world held the defending World Champion, 5th ranked Italy, to a 1-1 draw.

Shane Smeltz scored in just the 7th minute, off a free kick that was pushed towards the goal by captain Fabio Cannavaro's thigh. The Azzurri scored off a penalty kick in the 29th minute by Vincenzo Iaquinta. A cross came through the box, and Daniele De Rossi was questionably forced down by Tommy Smith of New Zealand.

The second half was full of furious and desperate efforts by each team to unknot the match. Even with an extra 4 minutes added on, neither team could break free. A fantastic game by New Zealand, and a stunning disappointment for Italy, who are now in danger of not making it to the Round of 16 after winning the Cup just 4 years ago.

New Look

So Blogger.com kept throwing these annoying pop-ups at me telling me they had all new layouts to customize my blog. I figured I'd play along and try something new. So here's the new layout, hope everyone's cool with it. The blog is mostly sports and random funny stuff, not just baseball, but you get the idea. Feedback is always appreciated.

How 'Bout Those Red Sox?

Ortiz is at 15 home runs, 45 RBI. Buchholz is the AL's first 9-game winner. The team has won 4 in a row, and sits just a game outside of first place in the AL East. It's like the ball is sitting on a tee for the Sox bats, and the pitchers are throwing against cardboard cut-outs. Beltre fell over and STILL jacked one a few feet shy of the Mass Pike.

This team is on right now. Since this time last month, they are 21-8. They have only lost 1 series against Cleveland, and tied against the Royals. Drew just went down with an injury, Cameron isn't playing every day, Ellsbury is still dealing with his injuries, and Beckett and Matsuzaka have been questionable for 3 weeks now, yet this team is still rolling right along. They've quietly snuck right back into the hunt. It'll will be interesting to see how they play out this month, traveling to Colorado, San Fransisco and then back to The Chapel.

Infomercial Of The Week

Yes. Just yes. "Find me on them internets...."

It's a great day to be alive.

This Guy

Curt Schilling said about a month ago, that as soon as Stephen Strasburg reached The Show, he was going to be the best pitcher in the game.

Ubaldo Jimenez is doing pretty good right now, sure. Making his cases for All-Star, Cy Young and MVP through his first 15 starts with a 13-1 record and a 1.15 ERA. But Strasburg, the 22 year-old from San Diego State has shown up, guns blazing through his first 3 starts.

He is 2-0, with a 1.86 ERA. Through 19.1 innings in 3 games, opponents have hit .149 seizing 4 runs and drawing 5 walks. More impressive than that? Strasburg has struck out 32 batters, a new major league record through 3 starts.


So maybe Strasburg is more legit than anyone really knows right now, huh? You win this round, Schill. Still, the guy's 22, throwing his ass off right out of the gate. You never know what could happen this early on. I still have my doubts, but I'll keep on living in the present, and waiting til his next start to see how many batters he can make look like little leaguers.

Unbelievable

MLB.com - DETROIT -- To twist the famous newspaper lede, the imperfect call spoiled the perfect game Wednesday.

The Tigers were ready to celebrate when Indians shortstop Jason Donald grounded to first base with two outs in the ninth. Brandon Inge was jumping for joy. Don Kelly and Austin Jackson were rushing in from the outfield to join in the celebration that was sure. Gerald Laird and the rest of the Detroit dugout was readying to storm the field and mob pitcher Armando Galarraga.

One call from first-base umpire Jim Joyce changed history.

It was tough enough for the Tigers to believe. For Joyce, who made the safe call that broke up perfection in Detroit's one-hit, 3-0 win over Cleveland, it was heartbreaking. And as television replays showed, it was a mistake -- an honest mistake, as Joyce explained.

"It was the biggest call of my career," an emotional Joyce told reporters, "and I kicked it. I just cost that kid a perfect game."

Joyce, a 22-year veteran umpire, watched the bang-bang play and went with what he felt he saw.

"I really thought he beat the ball," Joyce said. "At that time, I thought he beat the ball."

Replays told otherwise, showing Galarraga's right foot on the bag with the ball in his glove and Donald still lunging for the bag.

The Tigers felt like they had seen it that way from their vantage point, whether on the infield or from the third-base dugout. Replays backed up their story.

"You guys like me all watched the TV and saw the replays," Galarraga said, "and for any pitcher in any league anywhere, that was a perfect game. When you watch the replays, it was totally an out. There's no way he can call that safe. That's what made me sad. I can't help it. I really can't help it."

Nor could his teammates.

"That's not an easy play right there," catcher Gerald Laird said, "but I saw Miggy throw and [Galarraga] caught it. And honestly, I thought ... I don't know, I'm at a loss for words right now."

Once Joyce saw the replay, there wasn't much he could say, either. All he could do was admit that he made a mistake, to admit that umpires are human.


Are you kidding me? I watched that play last night, and literally wanted to jump through the TV screen and start pummeling Jim Joyce. I mean, I get it, he's human. But if you watch the play close enough, and look at Joyce, he was just staring at Cabrera for half of the play. Absolute disgrace. Look, I get that Joyce got like a silver medal for umpiring a few years back, but you just can't make a mistake like that, amigo. You can't. That kid will never have an opportunity like that. Joyce feels like shit, I understand that, but it's just an awful situation. That was the 21st perfect game in history. The third one in 5 weeks. Could've been amazing.

The Kid Calls It Quits

After coming to The Show in 1989, Ken Griffey, Jr. is hanging up the cleats and heading into retirement. On pace to be one of the greatest baseball players the world has ever seen, Griffey encountered a few injuries that hampered his abilities towards the end of his career. Griffey was not at Safeco Field for Wednesday's game, and issued a statement telling his team he was retiring, effective immediately.

A 10-time Gold Glove winner, 13 All-Star appearances, savior of the sport in the northwest United States, and 630 home runs throughout his career make Griffey one of the most sacred players to ever grace the diamond.


As everyone was I'm sure, when Griffey signed back with the Mariners, I was ecstatic. He was baseball to that entire state in the nineties. When I was in grammar school, I had like 4 folders in my backpack that had Griffey on them. Seeing him walk away from baseball physically pains me. Good luck, Kid. Baseball won't be the same.