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Monday, June 28, 2010

Reasons Why Emma Watson Would Date Me

I'm back at it folks, and just like Michael Jordan's triumphant return to the NBA in 95', I plan on securing the equivalent of that in blogger rings. You may be asking yourself several questions during my hiatus, such as, 'where have you been?', 'who are you?,' and 'please tell me your single.'

We'll get to that later, but first ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you I have seen the heights of Everest, drank tea with the Dhali Lama, and pondered all of life's questions with the world's finest buddhist monks. What I have come to discover through these introspective activities, are several reasons as to why Emma Watson would date me. Please excuse this post due to the fact my head is so clouded with Harry Potter after I recently pounded out all 6 movies within two days. So with out further adieu here they are.

First and foremost, I generally start my day around 2pm with a little wake and shake or two, I do this without breaking a sweat so she already knows I'm the man. Ladies you like that stuff, right? Next I bowl a solid 250 on Wii Bowling stomping out any competition, being my grandmother or direct family members. Finally, I could cast any spell or recite any lines from the books or movies, that's gotta be some bonus points. If all these don't do it for her, I still feel I have a chance after recently creeping on her to find out her recent boyfriend is an absolute vagina .

So what do you think? Do I have a shot at love?

1 comment:

  1. All I am sayin, this man is more than qualified for the position and should be at the very least...at the VERY LEAST, be brought straight to the second stages of interviews also known as the first date. I think Emma Watson would be swept of her feet upon the the ever famous mating call...She would melt.