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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Best and Worst US Performances at the Games


Bode Miller - Will have to probably pay for his luggage being a little heavier after he won himself 3 medals in skiing events at the Games.

US Men's Hockey Team - Forced OT against powerhouse Team Canada, and won the silver medal (3 days AFTER the higher-ups for the team had booked flights for the team to head back to the US...there's some confidence) Good job to those guys for battling every minute of those games.

Evan Lysacek - Hell yeah. Beating the self-proclaimed God-King of the Ice, Evgeni Plushenko in Men's figure skating. I bet that Gold looks a lot better than platinum, huh Evan?

Shaun White - There's not really a lot I need to say. Humans don't do that, Shaun. They just can't.

Shani Davis - The 27-year old, 6'3" speed skater from Chicago, who's hobbies include Taekwondo and fishkeeping. Oh, and he's black. Take THAT, world.


Lindsey Jacobellis - If I had to see one more Vick's commercial with this girl in it... Busted right through a gate in Snowboard Cross. She better be booking a flight to Russia four years from now if she knows what she's doing with her life.

John Shuster - Not only embarrassed himself, but embarrassed my home nation in front of the world in one of the greatest sports to ever be played...Curling. 4 games in a row, Shuster. Not okay.

Apolo Ohno - Won a bronze and a silver in 2 other speed skating events, and he's only on the 'worst' list because of the doucher Canadian judge that DQ'd him in the 500m.

Johnny Weir - I don't even care, just know there are multiple reasons for his appearance on the 'worst' side.

Every country but America - For being silly and thinking they could get more medals than us.

Olympic Medals

So I've taken a little bit of a hiatus from blogging for a few reasons, but I figure the best way to come back would be to recap some things that happened at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. The final medal count, and some best and worst performances mostly from the US team.

Hey, I don't care what color it is, America should be damn proud they brought back that many medals. The host nation of Canada set a new Olympic record in these 21st games with 14 gold medals, but who really cares? I'll take 37 medals as a country to be on top any day of the week. Or any 4 years out of the rotation...

Infomercial Of The Week

I can't really think of anything to say about this that hasn't already been said. As if the feedback from those 4 losers isn't enough to get you, they throw all their extra bait on the hook with the catchy 7-second jingle to.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Another Reason to Love Curling

So I was looking around the Internet for any good news on the U.S. curling team after their awful performances, the past few days, and could only find one story worth writing about. Luckily, it's the same story you all want to hear.

The 2010 Vancouver Olympics U.S. Curling team has made it to where they are because of a few reasons. First off, they're just plain good. I mean, I could try all I wanted, and I don't think I could beat anybody in curling. But I think the most important reason for their success has been all thanks to their sponsors. Hurry Hard condoms, and Laphroaig Whiskey.

If condoms and whiskey aren't 2 huge keys to success, then I'm not sure what is.

Curling is awesome.

Spring Is In The Air

Up in Boston, there's still snow on the ground and a chill in the air, but down in Fort Myers, Florida, it's nothing but sunny skies above the fresh cut grass and newly raked clay.

Pitchers and catchers have reported into Spring Training and are scheduled to being their workouts. The rest of the revamped Red Sox squad is due in February 22nd, with workouts beginning the 24th. Some players, namely Kevin Youkilis are ahead of the game, having arrived in Fort Myers roughly two weeks ago in preparation.

Jonathan Papelbon is another player who has started workouts early. After a dismal '09 season, Pap is looking to step up in the upcoming season. During his spring workouts, Cinco-Ocho has been watching films of basically his failures from last season, mostly his absolutely terrible performance in Game 5 of the ALDS against the Angels.

"I totally used the way last season ended for motivation. I've got it on tape, and I watched it 100 times in my weight room. I used it as motivation whenever I was feeling tired and weak in the weight room. I'd pop it on and say, 'There's still work to be done,'" said the Sox closer.

All in all, I'd say this season is going to be pretty interesting, and I'm pumped to see how everyone performs in the spring. First exhibition match-up. BC and Northeastern, March 3rd.

Go Sox.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

It's Official...

Curling is underway at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver.


All these match-ups are slated for action today. I'm watching the US take on Germany right now, and it's pretty much stopped time for the seven of us in the room. If you've never seen curling before, here's a little breakdown of how it works.

The game is played down a lane of ice, and the point is to get your curling stone the closest to the center of the target at the end. Each team gets 8 alternating throws, over 10 ends (or frames). Once the stone is thrown by one team member, the other 3 may use their brooms to smooth out the ice to further the stone along. The teams go back and forth, and have 73 minutes to complete all their throws in the 10 frames.

Pretty weak explanation of the sport, but that's basically curling in a nutshell. So enjoy the Games.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Infomercial Of The Week

I'm pretty sure Tony Little is no longer making these infomercials because Darla Haun had him arrested. But enjoy this Gazelle montage while you can.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Another Reason to Love Baseball

Omar Vizquel is about to turn 43 in April, but that's not going to change what he does around 7:05 every night. The Chicago White Sox just signed one of the best shortstops in the game in November, and the biggest problem with the signing has been what number Vizquel will have across his back. His usual number 13 was taken by his fellow countryman and now manager, Ozzie Guillen. That was when the only Venezuelan Hall of Famer made a call to the organization, and told them to unretire his number 11.

Omar Vizquel didn't believe it at first, and had to call back to see if Luis Aparicio was willing to do such a thing.

“If there is one player who I would like to see wear my uniform with the White Sox, it is Omar Vizquel,” Aparicio said.

So for at least the next year, the White Sox will have another Hall of Fame caliber shortstop donning the number 11, battling for the top spot in the AL Central.

Monday, February 8, 2010


Just a video that should brighten any sports fan's day. Could be tough to see, so just click the video if you want to full screen it on Youtube or whatever the kids do nowadays. Enjoy.

More AXE COP!!!

Look...If this episode doesn't have everything you're looking for, then I don't know if you can ever be satisfied...By anything.

Allow me to recap: Telescope Gun Cop comes to try out for the 'third wheel' spot with Dinosaur Soldier and our hero Axe Cop. But, his audition is put on hold when the evil giant robot Psydrozon come to attack. Using their secret weapon, our dynamic duo is able to triumph over evil once again.

But wait, there's more, you say? Episode 2 leaves everyone wanting more with 5-year old Malachai's extraordinary use of the cliffhanger...Uni-baby and Telescope Gun Cop!?!?

Dun dun dunnnnnn........

(In case you can't read good)

Oh When The Saints...

So ends another mediocre football season.

Super Bowl XLIV ended with the 'WHO DAT Nation' coming back to beat the Colts in rather convincing fashion 31-17. A rocky start for the Black and Gold, as the first quarter ended with them trailing 10-0. But Brees and Co. found a groove and starting chipping away. I actually started to get excited around the end of the third quarter, because I thought this game was going to be a nail-biter. Right around the Colts' last promising drive, I had a feeling someone was going to screw up. I thought the O-Line was going to break down and Peyton Manning would give up the game-ending fumble. But I was close, and instead he threw that Pick-Six and that sealed the deal.

I still have to give it to the Saints. Hell of a season, hell of a finish. If anybody wants to take a road trip down to New Orleans anytime before September, I heard there are some crazy parties going on there.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Shippin' Up To/Off From Boston

So I realize that it's the offseason, but I'm too big of a Sox fan to not write something up about them. There's not too much going on with them, so, mostly for my own benefit, I'm just going to recap this offseason's action.

Here are the signings:
John Lackey, SP
Adrian Beltre, 3B
Mike Cameron, CF
Gustavo Molina, C
Boof Bonser, P
Joe Nelson, P
Bill Hall, 2B
Marco Scutaro, 2B/SS
Ramon A. Ramirez, RP
Jeremy Hermida, OF

George Kottaras, C
Hunter Jones, RP
Rocco Baldelli, OF
Jason Bay, LF
Nick Green, IF
Billy Wagner, RP
Paul Byrd, P
Chris Woodward, IF
Alex Gonzalez, SS
Brian Anderson, OF
Casey Kotchman, 1B

There's a lot of stuff to look forward to down in Fort Myers this year. Where will Pedey be playing, how will the double play combo of him and Scutaro work out...Can Jacoby be as effective as a left fielder...Will Beltre's bat prove to be worthy...Will Lowell ever surface...How will The Captain adjust to his new role...? It'll be an interesting spring, which I'm hoping will lead into 162 games of solid baseball out of the Boys from Beantown.

How Did I Just Find Out About This....

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 'Axe Cop.' While this looks like the work of any experienced comic, it is actually far from it. These stories are produced by a family business. And that family happens to be made up of a 5-year old and his 29-year old brother.

If you can find me a more entertaining comic book, bring it to me immediately. I've never been big into comics, but look at the lineup for this first episode and tell me what there's not to like: axes, cops, flutes, dinosaurs, dinosaur heads, and ultimately the unstoppable duo of Axe Cop and Dinosaur Soldier. I bet at this point you're wondering what roles the two brothers have in this. Well, Malachai (the 5-year old) is the writer and creator of the episodes. Maybe his spelling is cleaned up a little, but that dialogue comes straight from the little guy's noggin. His brother Ethan does all the drawing, and together, this powerhouse duo makes Michaelangelo look like a chump.

There are a few more episode up on their site, so I'll definitely be writing about this more. And for those of you who can't read the episode at the top, here's a bigger image.

Infomercial Of The Week

Went kind of a different route with our 'Infomercial of the Week' this week. We're kickin' it old school with some late night QVC, hosted by none other than my personal hero, Mike Rowe. First of all, no one watches QVC anyway, nevermind late night QVC. And secondly, even if they did, there's no way people are looking to by a Katsak, and Mike knows it.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Bruins Update

Remember this? Bruins-Flyers, Fenway Park, New Years' Day, not even a month ago? The last time B's fans really felt like the Black and Gold could do some damage? Since the Winter Classic, the bruins are 3-12.

Something just isn't working, and I can't figure out what. The team seems unmotivated, and just flat out unable to play a whole 60 minutes. Over this rough patch, they're shown hundreds of signs of life. They've gone on plenty of hot streaks during periods, but then seems to just completely lose it. Coach Julien has been doing his part to keep them in line and keep the drive alive in them, but from their first line down to the 3-man penalty kill, it seems like the Bruins are struggling to keep it together in 2010.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Knock It Off...

So, I'm not sure if it's just me, but this Twitter thing seems ridiculous. Why on earth would anyone need to constantly update their status on what they are doing? Do people honestly think that somebody else is just keeping track of what's going on every two seconds of your life? Really, nobody is that important. I mean, this is like telling your girlfriend that you're gonna throw on your snuggie and pour yourself a glass of wine so you can watch the game, it's just not something you should ever do.

The whole system just kinda sucks. You have to make an account, then find your friends or different celebrities that you want to follow, then I guess you just sit around in your bedroom taking breaks from playing Warcraft or learning to play the trombone to check out who just 'Tweeted.' It's like constantly updating your facebook status so everyone gets a new notification that they don't really want. How much more connected are people going to want to get? People don't even sit next to each other in church, so why do we need to know every little thing about someone's personal life? It's gotta stop.