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Friday, July 30, 2010

Strut That Ass

If this guy wants to have a strut off its on, I'm well versed in the art of strutting so watch out bro I'll destroy you. Just line us up on the high way and see who can strut for more miles now that would be some good t.v.!

Dispute our differences I have to say this guy is right it is a chauvinistic pig attitude that Clinton's got about strutting that ass. I mean seriously he is all in our face all the time just strutting that ass showing off, give it a break buddy we get it you can strut.

That being said I watched this video several times and I'm still not sure what he is so mad about. He starts off saying it has something to do with running everywhere so he will walk then he mentions he hates people driving in there benz, I just cant get on the same page with hombre. It could have something to do with the fact I'm still mesmerized by his cigarrette throw in disgust at the end there.

"You'll be so god damn fucking tired!!!"

Ice Ice Baby

Ladies and gentlemen I'm proud to announce Vanilla Ices return to stardom! Thats right he is back and better then ever jumping through small torches of fire and shallow ponds in a scrubby looking caddy. Gotta love how he plays up like he is going down with the car such a vanilla move. Clearly he takes down a huge breath of air to build suspense for his peoples, come on ice your better than that.

Also I think I need to start getting back into his old classics, them shits bump!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Wendys in Review

Took the words right out of my mouth. It's fucked up though that shawty wouldn't let him holler, girls these days.

Valley Warriors Move Clip of the Week

"You're not suppose to drink the bong water!"


Weekenders Top Five Ipod Jams

First we have Kid Cudi - Know why. Listen I know this isn't the latest track out there it came out in January or something, however its been getting more play time on my pod so check it out.

Coming in second with a solid heavy beat that you can certainly jam out to is Daft Punk - Prestige. This jam is going to be in the up coming movie remake of Tron so get out and check it.

Third is the new Mike Posner single from his up coming album 31 minutes to take off called Bow chicka. Something I would throw on if I was hanging with the ladies but I'm not sure how I feel about this one yet, not top notch from Posner.

Fourth we got an older jam that came out a few weeks back called Super High by Rick Ross but this time we got Wiz Khalifa and Curren$y on the track.

Finally ending this weeks picks we got Bow Wow - Why They Hating. I'm not a huge Bow Wow fan but this song can bump for sure so its worth a play. WOOF WOOF!

There you have it folks, get out your blank CD's or your Ipods and toss these jams on your play list for when your cruising the hood. ye dig?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Wrestler Promo Of The Week

Hahaha Don't try and interview Hot Rod brotha, he's got an agenda and best believe he is going to fulfill it. Gotta love the tenacity he has when he just pops on the screen and starts shitting all over Canada. The guy is clearly a beast in the ring.

Then he goes on a minute long rant busting out his credentials because some fat chick asked who he was. God lady do you have any idea what you just did, insulted one of the greatest wrestlers of human kind. Disgusting. The audacity that some fat Canadians have these days.

Lewiston Girls

Okay so anyone not from the twin cities, where I reside in the summer should probably just skip past this post. That being said, Shiiiiiit these bitches are on fire right now.

Three things though, numero uno where are these Lewiston hoochies? Claiming they are just getting straight hammered and banging dudes left and right. Listen, I may not get out to many parties but when I do there is never shit like this going on. It's mostly just an awkward blend of kids chilling in there own click, myself included. Next we need to get these girls a stage at a local venue and just straight get it popping off. I mean summers almost over lets go ladies put up or shut up. Finally just a simple question, do you wanna party? cause we can freaking party?

Also this video was response to another song called "Lewiston Girls" by some straight A-town thugs. Looks like they got more YouTube views too, perhaps a rap battle is in order?

What are your thoughts on these up and coming freshmen in the rap game?

This Guy

I love this guy, hits us with some relevant news and brushes it off like its nothing. He doesn't give a shit man created immortality!! Also guy, your a terrible salesman don't tell us what your not sure the rings can do because it sounds like your not sure of shit, just an FYI.

So as I was stumbling through the world wide wide I happen to encounter a peculiar man by the name of Alex Chiu. At first I just dismissed his crazy Immortality theory as just straight up bull shit. Like yeah right bro your no Ponce De Leon, get real. However I read a little further and I think this dude may be the real deal. I mean it all makes perfect sense a couple rings on the fingers and toes blasting off negative and positive electrons and Shazam! The human body turns into a rechargeable battery. Fucking Brilliant Mr. Chiu! Brilliant. I mean listen Facts, Testimonials, and a few pictures of Thomas Edison, Nikola Telsa, and Albert Einstien and your case is pretty much bullet proof.

Next thing you know I find out this dude has a gorgeous pill that can make you not want to have kids! Your kidding me, your telling me I can buy a pill for that shit! I have been trying so hard to get a kid these days and finally there is a cure for this issue I have. Nothing was working I couldn't fight the urge to pop a few mini me's out and field a family tee ball squad. Unreal Dr. Chiu, you have done it again!

As if this man hasn't done enough for human kind as it is, HE can Resurrect your ass when you die!! So your telling me I can become physically immortal, not want to squirt out a couple youngsters, and then be resurrected! Unbelievable.

Sir. Chiu has clearly over come boundaries that were never thought possible and has given us humans complete control over our lives and death. With out you Mr. Chiu I don't want to imagine how the world would be. Thats why you are the weekenders top choice for THIS GUY!! Congratulations!

For more of Mr. Chiu's Philosophy check this out.

Mr. Tumnus Is Freaking Out

Someone needs to tell Mr. Tumnus the White which is dead and he needs to take a chill pill. Narnia is safe for another day.

Imagine how terrible it would be if this goat and this frog banged and had kids. That would be an unbearable duo at couples night just straight yelling their faces off.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Dragon Facts

Readers be warned, you are now about to enter the uncanny mind of Giant Ryan.......

Dragon Fact Intro and Fact #1

The Dragon is a majestic and mysterious creature. Little was known about these ferocious animals until a recent government document was released and the surprising information made it's way to the public.
These are the facts... The Dragon facts.

Dragon Fact #1

There are 78 different breeds of dragons. 54% of these dragons will be raped in their lifetime by friends or close relatives.

Bonus: Dragon fact #2

Dragons have laser eyes, but can only use them post coitus

Blog by Ryan.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Funky Monkeys Are Coming

Hey take it easy, your on third street. I cant get enough this roller coaster of emotion that this guy takes us on. At first he is all inquisitive and shit, I have never seen a man so truly interested in skateboarding, sold that act 100%. Then Bam! gears shift and he starts preaching about space movies he makes and his company, Bellamafia-QuackafellaRecords IncoporatedBy-RhymeSyndicate-3yellowmen-TrillioinaireClub. Whom I actually have seen a few of their space films and I gotta say, shits on point. Then just when you think it can't get any more un-real he pops it into another gear of pure craziness. All around wonderful performance.

But I mean this shits for real, this guy is thinking Big, taking over the world and creating another porno/contraceptive porn label all at once. I haven't personally seen any of Butt Naked Wonda Big Brotha Thunda and the Masta blasta's work, but I hear its a work of art and terrifies little boys into never having sex again.

P.S. I hear his up coming space motion picture is a BIG nut bust. Eat our shit and suck our dick!

Ron Artest Playing Dodgeball

Typical Ron Artest shit, hiding behind all his team mates using the females on his team as shields. Cant chuck a dodge ball for the life of him. It makes me sick knowing someone like this has a championship ring around their finger.

Also what the hell? Why is Artest playing dodgeball in the first place with some random Asian sounding team. Shouldn't he be punching fans in the face.

Get This Guy a Xanex

Whoa bro chill out I think you just started talking parseltounge. Gotta love his one buddy there who tries to get in on the action but just cant compete with this dudes craziness. Good try though man, not many would attempt to go head to head with this wild bastard to try and out parseltounge him.

The IMMORTALITY of it all!!!

Breast Ironing is the New Hot Thing

Affecting one out of every four girls, the brutal practice of "breast ironing" is on the rise in the African country of Cameroon. The procedure -- which involves the flattening of a young girl's growing breasts with hot stones, coconut shells and other objects -- is considered a way to curb the country's staggering number of teenage pregnancies

Get real! people cant actually be doing this right? There has got to be a better contraceptive then this. I mean I know times are rough in African and all but come on this has got to be making things worse.

Intense Jet Plane Crash

So this is what Canada's military has been up to lately. No wonder they never get involved in wars, flying jets is hard enough for these simple folk. The only thing Canada got right was Tim Hortons.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Hot v. Not: Summer 2010 Edition

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Don't call it a comeback. After an unannounced, unplanned, and probably unnoticed hiatus, I have returned to the Weekend to bring a little firepower with Jon out of town. Keep your eyes peeled for more posts from me in the future... I'd like to think I bring a little pizazz to the table.

Without further ado... here is your Hot v. Not for the sweltering summer of 2010. Look no further for advice on how to stay cool, pun intended.


Kid Cudi__________________________________Billy the Kid
Drunk History____________________Any Other Kind of History
Miley (Can't Be Tamed)_______________Miley (Nobody's Perfect)
Paul the Oracle Octopus__________________Pete the Blind Squid
The Bieber_____________________________The Angry Beavers
Silly Bandz_________________________Nickleback Cover Bands
Toy Story 3____________________________Walt Disney's Head

That's it for now. Real talk.

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Weekend Getaway

Looks like this'll be the last post out of me til the end of the month. My folks and I are off to the Grand Canyon and Sedona for a week. Just gotta get away sometimes, ya know? So for the week, your happiness and satisfaction rests on the shoulders of Ben and our part-time Weekenders like RyGuy, Kyle or Jackson.

The important thing is, I'll be back in time or the best week out of all 52: SHARK WEEK.

Enjoy the end of July, ladies and gentlemen. Cheers


Where these guys got off thinking it was a solid idea to ride this slide onto straight concrete into straight concrete, I don't know, but its simply brilliant. I need more minds like that around me.

Simply Amazing

So I'm willing to bet you ended up on this site for one of two reasons: a) because you're a friend of ours, and we asked you too, or b) you're a friend of ours, and you were bored. If you're the latter, this article is for you. Who doesn't love wasting time on the internet? And who doesn't love music?


Stumbled across this site earlier today, and thought I'd bring it to the attention of our viewers. The site has a black screen right in the center. Click on the screen, and you'll see it creates a ring. Click multiple times, multiple rings. What happens when these rings run into each other? Boom, music.

Click just below the window, and you'll see other options for making music, such as the one at the top of the article, my personal favorite. Bum around, click stuff, make some music and waste some time.

Al Gore's Son Tossing Haymakers

Huffingtonpost.com - Al Gore III came out on top in his highly-anticipated boxing match at the B.B. King's Tuesday night. With a third-round TKO, the 27-year-old nicknamed "Kid Blanco" emerged victorious, beating Ken "The Carnivore" Cunningham. Both fighters weighed in at a sizable 200 pounds. The fight was part of the Corporate Challenge Boxing Card and benefited the S.L.E. Lupus Foundation.

I was thinking about tossing up the video to this, but it would be a waste of your precious 2 minutes. What's interesting about this, is that it was a corporate boxing match. Now I have never held a 'real' big shot corporate job, but does this happen on a weekly perhaps even daily basis? Two dudes are by the water cooler then all of a sudden they decide to throw down, meet in the octagon, and cauliflower the shit out of each other's ears and whatnot. Is that standard protocol? I may have to start hitting the weights if I wanna climb that corporate ladder and take out "Kid Blanco".

Weekenders Top iPod Jams

Over at The Weekend, we decided we would toss out a new weekly blog of some of the top songs on our iPods right now, and this week here are the top few.....

Here's another on point Kid Cudi song ft. Rostam Batmanglij and Bethany Cosentino. If you haven't gotten into it already, give it a listen.

Next up we have Donnis, "Eat You Alive," from his new mix-tape "Fashionably Late".

Bam! Mike Posner coming in hard on this fresh techno/synth beat with another hit. I have been waiting a minute for the full version of this song to come out and here it is. Mike Posner - Please Dont Go.

Big Boi goes hard on this heavy beat, has a very intense feel to it gotta love the church choir in the back going hard. Good looks GiantRyan for keeping the weekend up to speed with the latest and greatest. Big Boi - General Patton.

And for all you Crunk Loving Hyphy-getting goons out there, we have our Crunk Jam of the week!!! This week it's Lil Jon and Young Jeezy going wild on this track called Jizzle. YEAH!!

Thursday, July 22, 2010


I just was scanning around ye olde Web and I stumbled across a "50 Hottest Actresses Under 25" list. Turns out, there are some pretty weak showings. But I became so furious to the point where I had to bring it to people's attention. Emma Watson was number 24.

Now, some of you may remember Ben's post about Emma from late June, stating how he had all the credentials to date Miss Watson. Now, I'm willing to bet most of you read that and thought to yourselves, "hey, I do all that stuff, and I actually have a job, I could date Emma Watson!"

Now if you were one of those people, I know you're as pissed about this as I am. I mean, they had like Vanessa Hudgens in front of her, Hilary Duff, Lauren Conrad, you know. But dude, Mary-Kate Olsen?!? This thing was written a few months ago, and you're trying to tell me Mary-Kate is better than THE Emma Watson?

Ashley Tisdale was a solid choice for number 13...As was Mila Kunis for 10th.

And let me tell you, they turned up the gas for the top 5... Megan Fox, Keira Knightley, Scarlett Johansson, Miley Cyrus, and Hayden Panettiere.

After searching around for pictures of the top 5, they should have absolutely just done a straight switch, 24 to 2, for Cyrus to Watson. Go ahead, compare them. Watson clearly kicks the shit out of Cyrus in the classy category, and that's just right off the bat.

This Weekend's Poll Winner

Congratulations to these two crazy bastards. There probably has never been a greater taunting in all of sports. And you gotta give it up for the darker shade of Green Man, guy's on top of his game in every way possible. Doing that crazy drag-my-face across the glass move, then busting out the handstand on his seat.

You don't see that every day, folks. Cheers, gentlemen.

Dolph Lundgren

Taken from "Showdown in Little Tokyo," a thoroughly enjoyable over-the-top buddy cop romp. I ask you, is there a better actor, nay, a better human being, than Dolph Lundgren?

Troll 2: A Must-See?

Until about a month go I had never heard of Troll 2. Then I catch some rumblings that Troll 2 is the worst movie ever made...ever. As someone who appreciates a cinematic turd every now and again I thought it worth looking into.

Lo and behold one 0% RottenTomatoes review later I was hooked. I found out the Coolidge Corner theater was doing a show of this gem on a night I had off so I wandered up Beacon and had myself a night. I couldn't get past the opening credits without breaking into peels of laughter with the rest of the audience. One of the best scenes is at the top.

Confused? turned off? Turned on? Check out Troll 2 for more, it will be the worst thing you ever watch, also the villains in the movie are vegetarians. Now available on Hulu.

Kenny Buck Says

Okay Ken Buck, I think you may have just tallied one more vote towards you in the polls. Can you really blame this guy, though? I mean, a woman did try and ask a very complex question, basically calling out his manhood. How else would he have responded? The beautiful bullshit analogy was sheer genius, as well as when the member of the audience tried to take it even further with the whole, 'but you ain't got bullshit on the inside of yer' shoes!' Brilliant! If this man doesn't make it to office stomping around in his shitty cowboy boots all over Capitol Hill, I don't know who will.


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Weekenders: Old Commercial of the Week

"Hey pop goes the weasel, everybody knows the weasel blows". That line, that guy, those pickles, and a fish sandwhich followed by a smoke!?! Where is this drive-in theater, I'm trying to get there ASAP. Really though, that popcorn guy is beyond classic, he must have made it huge in Hollywood after this commercial, no doubt about it.

I love how they serve pickles here, nice juicy dill pickles. Was that a thing back in the 80's, just serving up pickles at random locations? Oh, you're taking a leak in a public bathroom? How about you have yourself a dill pickle? Walking through the park? Pow! Dill pickle vender on the corner. Then there is that nice long shot of a fish sandwhich, that shot almost got more air time then the classic popcorn guy, what the hell is up with that?

"Due Date" - November 5, 2010

This movie couldn't look any better. Made by the same people who made "The Hangover," starring Robert Downey, Jr and Zach Galifianakis, need I say more? I saw this trailer before "Inception," which just made the movie look that much better.


Ramon Ramirez Is Terrible

The Boston Red Sox scored 4 unanswered runs in the first 2 innings. Tim Wakefield gave up 4 in the third to tie the game up, but at the end of his 6 inning outing, retired 11 batters in a row. 6 relievers were used, and 5 of them gave up a combined 2 hits and 1 walk. Ramon Ramirez gave up a hit, a run, and 2 walks...and another loss.

Ramirez is 0-3 and the season, with an ERA of almost 5. I can understand putting him in the game to get him some more innings to see if he's going to turn things around, but not when the game is on the line, Francona, come on. But when you look at it, every starter except JD Drew had a hit in the game, they just couldn't string any together past the 2nd inning.

The rubber match between the Sox and Oakland A's is today at 3:07 EST. Clay Buchholz (10-4) is up against Gio Gonzalez (8-6). The Red Sox will look to win their 3rd series this month, and the first of their 3-series, 10-game West Coast Swing road trip.

Movin' On Up

That's right, sports fans. We're up to 20 followers, everytime I log onto Facebook, I see people have our site as their status, I'm loving it.

Our friend Wes, the 4th wheel to this machine just designed a logo for The Weekend. Definitely let us know what you think!

Our next projects include getting a real domain name, getting t-shirts for the blog, and over-throwing anybody who stands in our way of going straight to the top of Blog City.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

This Cat Needs To Get a Clue

Hahaha, something about talking to animals and having them respond cracks me up every single time. But seriously, this cat needs to pull his act together, get a job, support his family, and for god sakes, watch his tone.

When We're Coming You Gonna Hear This

Okay, Bling Bling I see you, home fry. You clearly know some stuff about guns, nice little list you had going on in a rhythm. Now personally, I'm a little concerned about that fact you may have some sort of scope in outer space that could "F*** up something on earth." Seems like some pretty high tech stuff you're dealing with, and I don't know if the crowd you're hanging around, especially the guy shitting on the toilet at the end (what the hell was that all about), is the best to be in control of a weapon of that magnitude.

However, I'll be sure to keep my ears open and my shoes laced just in case I hear the click click, that's no place I wanna be.

And in other news, ust in case you faithful Weekenders were keeping track, we have officially now posted 2 videos before David Portnoy of Barstool Sports. The first I already mentioned, that's old news, but then we got the skater being crushed by the reporter up there first as well. Now, I don't think this is the most amazing news ever but all I'm saying if we can get that video up first, while working bottom of the barrel jobs, when we really get going there is no stopping us. So watch out Internet, it appears that The Weekend will become a permanent fixture in the .com world.

Oh, and if I find out there are some Russian spies leaking our posts, things are going to get ugly around here. I'm talking Bling Bling is gonna link up Roddy Piper and lay waste on Google AdSense, then toss around a few People's Elbows.


Guster - Bad, Bad World

Bad Bad World by guster
Here at The Weekend, we're trying to keep our readers entertained on all levels. You want sports stories? Boom. You want funny videos of you name it? Bam. You want movie and music reviews and samples? Biff. Comin' at you.

Today we have a new single from Guster. Guster came on the scene in the early 90s and came into the mainstream in 1999. I've gone to a few of their shows, and they pull out all the stops every night. Their drummer plays a madhouse of bongos and all sorts of crazy percussion instruments, and their guitarists play any number of instruments during a given song, even live. Check them out, they're a good listen for any occasion, and they make some solid music.

The Weekend's Blockbusters - Inception

Inception. The concept of entering one's mind, deep into the subconscious and planting an idea that they come to understand as their own. Boom, you're already hooked.

Directed by Christopher Nolan (The Prestige, The Dark Knight), music by Hans Zimmer (Gladiator, Pirates of the Caribbean), and top notch performances by Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Cillian Murphy.

"Inception" is probably the best movies I've seen this year. It has just the right amount of everything it needed: action, comic-relief, plot twists, Ken Watanabe, et cetera. Its an interestingly strange and gripping concoction of philosophy, realism and massive levels of intricate detail that could only work in one delivery, which Nolan does flawlessly. Going into the theater, my biggest concern with the film was if they were going to explain everything to a level that would make me enjoy the movie over trying to keep up most of the time. Nailed it. That's not to say it doesn't leave you with a million questions at the end, however...

This movie will push you to the edge of your seat, have you making ridiculous faces out of disbelief and awe, and will pull you in right from the get-go. Rottentomatoes.com gave this an 85 out of 100, and I'd easily give this movie a solid A. Get out and see it.

Wipeout, Tonight at 8pm on ABC

Back around the track, The Weekend's favorite show is brand new tonight on ABC during the 8 o'clock hour. Just in case you're not familiar with Wipeout, the video up above is one course from earlier this season.

Basically if you love big hits, bigger falls, mediocre commentary, and people looking like idiots, sign up now.

New Look For Spongebob?

Spongebob is all set to air its new season in a very new location. The show will take on a more specified approach to its new home country of China, but still looks to save the same old "nautical nonsense" it has trademarked.

Thanks to Greg for the video

Monday, July 19, 2010

Wrestler Promo of the Week: Rowdy Roddy Piper

Rowdy Roddy Piper just may be the most diabolical bastard I have ever seen on YouTube to date. No integrity! I mean none! I think his only weakness may be his asthma, chill out on the wheezing Bro-bama, I'm worried you're gonna keel over.

Shit, just when you think he has no more punchlines up his sleeves, he calls out his opponent for having wet dreams. Wait...what!? I'm sure we will be seeing more of this character on The Weekend.

Also, Google AdSense took away all our hard earned dimes and nickels because we are just that sick, and get that much web traffic they don't believe it. Watch out Google I'm sending the Piper your way and you're not gonna like it!

Check This Dog Out.

Child porn... I'm going to start trying to use funny code words for all sorts of animals now. Hey cat, you want some food, well you better respond positively and make me laugh when I say foreskin, or you're not eating tonight.

But seriously, of all the funny shit this guy could say he goes with "Child Porn", get real, guy, that's some creepy shit.

Good looks for the video hook-up Larue.

"I Think We're Dead"

If only the dispatcher had egged this guy on a little bit, it would've been "Drinking Out Of Cups: Part Two."

3 great things about this video: The anchorwoman botching the word "Michigan," the lady snorting, she's laughing so hard at the end, and lastly, every single thing that guy says on the phone. Enjoy.

Lemon Demon - Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

I've inexplicably had this song stuck in my head all day, and thought, why not let our viewers get some of the action.

"Spock, The Rock, Doc Oc and Hulk Hogan"

Red Sox Are Struggling

What does this picture have to do with how the Red Sox are doing? It doesn't, but you're welcome. Just trying to lift your spirits a little.

The Sox are are 5-8 in the month of July, and are about to go on the road to face Oakland, Seattle and Anaheim before returning home to face Triple Crown threat Miguel Cabrera and the Detroit Tigers. As for the Walking Wounded, Boston has the most players on the disabled list, and the most of their original 25-man roster as well.

Josh Beckett
Manny Delcarmen
Jacoby Ellsbury
Jeremy Hermida
Mike Lowell
Jed Lowrie
Victor Martinez
Dustin Pedroia
Jason Varitek

If any team was missing just one or two of those guys, their season would be down the tubes, so kudos to Terry Francona for staying competitive.

On the bright side, the Red Sox hosted their 600th straight sellout at Fenway Park. At some point, the injuries are going to get so ridiculous, that the best idea would be to pull out season ticket holders and put them in the fray. They seem to be more reliable than the players anyway.

Food For Thought

Thanks to Span for sending in this photo. I don't know what to make of it, but if you have any funny captions, or possible dialogues between the Michaels, fire away.

This Guy

Dude used to live in a 4,000 square foot house with his family growing up, and now lives in an 89 square foot house. Picture that real fast. If you were to lay down and extend your arms over your head, that's longer than the width, pretty much. They don't show the guys bed though, so I'm not sure what happens there.

Either way, the chances of this guy shacking up with anyone are completely out the window, ya know? Basically watch the first minute of the video, and drop out once that 2nd nutcase comes in.

And does anyone else wish he explained why he named his house 'Tumbleweed?!' I can see naming a car, or naming your dog or something, but why would you name your house, and why the hell would you name it Tumbleweed?

Stephon Marbury, Ladies and Gents

So this out of this world footage was shot a while back, when Stephon Marbury was doing a live 24-hour stream of himself. See, he tries to throw us for a loop at the begining there by looking all contemplative and shit, finger to the forehead, head cocked to the side. Just when you think he is going to drop some real deep shit on you, the world turns upside down and things get nutty.

All of a sudden, dudes are passing him Vaseline out of thin air. He starts tossing up fake promos for Vaseline yelling cut the check over and over. Then when it couldn't get any stranger, he eats some of the Vaseline because some old senile lady whom one of his buddies knows claims it cures sore throats. Hey Starbury, I heard from a buddy who heard from a dude, that eating the roach gets you more high.

Psshh unreal, Also just to put this out there The7dayweekend posted La Pequena way before that amateur site Barstool did (Midget Dancer), tally that, 1 TheWeekend - 0 Barstool, its on.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Valley Warrior's Movie Clip of the Week

The greatest Ben Stiller movie ever assembled.


Trailer Hitch Bandit

WGME.com - Falmouth, ME Police are searching for a woman who reportedly stole $130 from the Lil Mart store on Route 1 after threatening the clerk with a trailer hitch.
The robbery occurred around 4:30 a.m. Saturday morning after police say the same woman tried unsuccessfully to rob the Mobile Mart in Yarmouth around 4 a.m. Police describe the woman as between 5'2" and 5'6" in height, long black hair tied up in a ponytail, a thin build and wearing dark sunglasses, capri pants and a brightly colored blouse. She left the store in a black Nissan Pathfinder claiming to be with two African American men in the vehicle, according to police. No one was injured in the incident.

Okay, so let me get this straight you can rob stores nowadays with just a trailer hitch. Why didn't I know this earlier? I got mad trailer hitches around this joint and plenty of spare time, watch out Lil Mart's near and far, here I come with my hypothetical two African American men in my car (not participating in the robbery whatsoever, just straight lounging back in my Pathfinder). I'll have to stay clear of Mobile Mart's, apparently they are keen to this sort of armed robbery.

Also, I think I might have to be a little more creative then this trailer hitch lady. Maybe I'll take my cat into the store and threaten to have it piss and shit all over the place unless I get some cash ASAP.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

200 Posts At The Weekend

Just wanted to say thank you to our followers, our moms, our friends, and anyone else that's helped us to get to where we are today. This is The 7 Day Weekend's 200th post. Our slogan has, and always will be 'give the people what they want,' and we're not stopping til we've filled everyone with all the satisfaction they can handle.

Frogger Fail

What was this guy thinking? The walk around this halfpipe would have taken him 10 seconds longer but no, not Mr. Frogger, he wants the glory of crossing the full half pipe. Needless to say, he should stick with the video game version now that he has officially killed a kid.

That Get's You Killed!

Whoa, this guy just nailed it. I smell a blockbuster! It's crazy, too, that its allergy season. Like, how the hell are we supposed to survive this 'kinda biological' apocalypse? People are just running into grocery stores and shit..those lines are gonna be so damn long!! Are they stocking up on essential end of the world materials, or just trying to plow through allergy meds? Why do you die within 24 hours?! That time frame must be important for something, or is it just downtime like "oh shit, Billy just sneezed like 18 hours ago, its all over!" then 6 hours later he just dies?

Also, why is it a beautiful thing that this is how we all get extinct? To me that seems like a shitty thing. Anyways, look out for this up and coming M. Night Shyamalan, I suspect this movie will be quite similar to The Happening...

Big Hit / Crash of the Week

Boom Roasted!!! Everyone that went down in this crash is going to be hurting for sure the next morning. But holy shit did you see that one guy who tumbled across the barrier then came back down into the madness. Lesson learned: Bike pile-ups are always brutal.

Great for business?

So this surfaced on the worldwide web a few days ago. There was no way I was going to put a 10 min video up so I waited it out for a shorter clip, you're welcome. With that out of the way, let me get into the finer points of this here YouTube classic.

We've got weave pulling, kicking, scratching, tops being torn off, hoochies gettin' pregnant and a dude swinging haymakers at chicks like its his job. One part that really did confuse me though, was when that minivan came through. Now was this an escape pod for these battle bruised jezebels? Or was it from this van that the girl in her underpants spawned from? I was pretty sure I saw her in the fight earlier but it was a whirlwind of excitement, so who can say for sure. If it was her though, why did she decide taking off her pants was necessary for this fight? What was the thought process? "You know what, this bitch is really gonna get it, if I take off my pants, I'll be more aerodynamic, thus I will be able to toss punches like The Flash!" I mean what else could she have possibly been thinking in the heat of the moment?

Brief side note: Pretty sure that if Burger King went into some sort of business with UFC, or maybe just local roughnecks to stage a somewhat controlled fight every 30 minutes, sales would be through the roof. Think about it. Grab yourself a buck double some fries and slam it down with a medium Coke while you're watching a couple of locals battle it out. Brilliant!!!

Kid Cudi - Erase me

In case your light years behind on what Cudi has been up to you should check out his song Erase me with Kanye. It's got a mellow vibe good for the stoner's or just down to earth folks out there. Also check out another song that came out a while back but is worth a mention Kid Cudi - Cudders Back. Its got a pretty cool video that's worth the 3 minute watch, so give it a try.

Quick question: What do our now 15 strong followers think about posting up some links to new, good music? Hopefully they're into it, because its going to be a recurring theme.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Donkey Kong Is My Homeboy

Now, you could be reading this blog for one of many reasons. But personally, there are some days I'll check it out for myself and read through some stuff, find some old videos for a little pick-me-up.

This video right here has been an inspiration to me ever since it came out at whatever that huge video game nerd conference is called. This was my childhood, through my high school career, and even into my freshman year at college. A lot of people played Super Mario, and the weird kids plays Metroid and stuff like that, but not me and my brother. Donkey Kong all day. FINALLY, coming out with a new Donkey Kong some time this fall, I don't think I could be more pumped.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy this glorious video game trailer.

Slow Day At The Weekend...

Listen, I know its been a slow day posting, but I just walked into the press room after working 12 straight hours cleaning toilets and mopping floors. Yeah, I know ladies, you're probably looking for my digits after finding out what a bomb job I got on lock, so just e-mail me and we will get it poppin'.

But in all seriousness, I know for a fact without a doubt in my mind that I could be a YouTube sensation. Its that simple. 'What made me come to this abrupt realization?' you're probably wondering. Well let me tell you. So after working this absurdly long shift just straight toilet cleaning and mopping my life away, I hopped into my mom's car (I know ladies, relax. Like I said e-mail me). Anyways, it starts off normal: I'm packing three Miller Lite's I found on the job site, a bouncy ball and a Gatorade, standard stuff. So I start driving, everything is fine, then it just hits me. The Q starts bumping off shitty hit after shitty hit, and I just can't hold back anymore. I start busting out remixes to songs, freestyling, hell, I'm even pretending I have a scratchboard to just get the party going off the chain. No joke, I'm shoulder bobbing and head nodding all while belting out probably some of the dopest remixes to Lady Gaga you've ever heard.

Moral of the story: Always record! I swear, this shit would have gone viral in a millisecond. Next thing you know, you'd have seen me on the Ellen Degeneres show, one-uping her dance moves and remixing songs left and right.

We're All In Serious Trouble...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I thought we dispelled this thing years ago, but alas...we're fucked. Ladies and gentlemen, the legendary Goat Sucker, La Chupacabra is back! And deadlier than ever... It has now multiplied, and is taking over planet Earth, one farm at a time.

Jack Farr, the local farmer who shot una chupacabra explains it all. He claims it has the ears of a deer, and was a weird pinkish color. Funny, the first thing I notice when I take a look at it is the hideous ugliness or the GIANT SHARP TEETH. A lot of animals have deer like ears, and human skin can be sort of pinkish, that doesn't scare me. "Think of them as a less sexy version of 'Twilight''s infamous vampire Edward Cullen." Big ups to my boy Mike Krumboltz at YahooBuzz.com for that gem.

And how about Farmer Jack bustin' out the knowledge of its lair: "Well that's where I would live if I were a chupacabra..." You rat bastard, we need 24/7 surveillance going on him. Who knows what he could be up to. Dammit, he could own a chupacabra farm, raising them up from chupacrabronies to full-grown, completely outrageous and blood-thirsty chupacabras.

Greatest Chugger Ever? You Decide.

Watch out college frats... Homeslice right here is going to be busting down your door and chugging anything in sight. "Oh, what's that your drinking right there, guy?" BOOM, shit's chugged by the time you can respond.

You just know the ladies are swarming this guy at social events when he starts putting down whatever liquid is near him in record time. Black wifebeater, chug skills of a god, Guns'n'Roses blaring where ever his presence may be. Game over, folks. Thanks for coming out. Yeaaaahhhh!!!!

Wait, no... No, it can't be! HE'S AT IT AGAIN, MAKE IT STOP!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Big Foot Has Six Fingers!?!

I literally cannot say anything to make this video any better. Priceless quote after priceless quote, are you kidding me?

However, I do feel like this guy is perhaps the toughest bastard I have seen in a minute. Not only was he trying to call coyotes...who the hell does that, just goes out into the woods and tries calling wild coyotes...but he 'rough talked' Big Foot so bad, there was no choice for this outcast beast but to run back to where he came from. As if it doesn't get any worse than this allegedly Big Foot has six fingers. Not only is this thing an absolute monster but he has six fingers and 'beautiful blonde hair'.

Lets get to the real point of this post though: I want to meet/drink whatever moonshine this guy is throwing back and go call coyotes in the back woods of North Carolina. Can anyone make that happen for me?

Prop's to tkiz for the video.

Maradona Part Deux

The Argentina Football Association just announced that it will extend international manager Diego Maradona's contract through the 2014 World Cup in Brazil.

Say what you want about Maradona as a coach, but for the World Cup, there couldn't be a better coach. Not even his players are as excited as he is when they score a goal. And as far as calling German striker Thomas Muller a ball boy, and asking veteran midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger if he was nervous to play Argentina, those are just great moves. No team wants to deal with the pressures of carrying an entire nation on there back, and Maradona did a great job to shift the focus onto himself, while his team went to work.

By the way, is that Joe Torre wearing the giant Diego Maradona face hat?

Yo Soy "La Pequena"

Wow, so many questions left unanswered here. First off, why is miniature Hilary Clinton so disappointed in the people of the U.S? Why didn't this video win some sort of award? The angles, the slow motion, and the drama; this is a can't-beat YouTube clip with an all-star cast and DAMNIT it needs some recognition!

Who invited that dominatrix-looking bro that stumbles in the video towards the end, there, to contain 'La Pequena.' What the hell dude? It was just getting good. I was confident Hilary Hulk was going to pick up that table and toss it through a wall or some shit. Also, it appears to me this has to be a three-person operation: we got the dominatrix-looking character, La Pequena (who has a whole series of YouTube videos), then a mystery cameraman. The way I see it, it has to be M. Night with that wild dominatrix twist of an ending. Any thoughts on who this mystery film genius is?

Infomercial of the Week

I thought we would never see the day, where blacks and whites, hell, even hispanics can shop and get along side by side. But I'm pretty sure Johnny AKA 10 Gauge was not happy about saying his mattress was perfect for a black person, he practically whispers that shit.

Then we got Richard, or better known in the streets as Bighead who is just all jacked up on pumpin' iron and forcing awkward interracial handshakes. Finally, to tie it all together, those two scrawny mofo's just slaying the chorus. So much soul, so much passion, I love it. I may just have take a trip down to the Red House right now.

Oh, and I'm fairly sure they used Tyrone Biggums to shake 10 Gauge's hand, probably offered him a free crack rock to be in this commercial.

NASCAR Is Ruining America

Alright, sports fans. So this is something that has been on my mind for a while. I've been a fan of most sports for all my life, and I've played my fair share. Sports like tennis and curling have grown on me more than I could ever imagine. But look, one "sport" I could never, and will never understand is NASCAR. Now don't get me wrong, I can play Mario Kart or Need For Speed for hours on end, but to me, that's the only acceptable form of racing. All I'm saying is, NASCAR could potentially be ruining America.

Now, if you're a NASCAR fan, you've stopped reading. If you have a brain in your skull, you're right with me. I'm not even really mad about the whole 'going in circles 300 to 500 times in a row,' its just that there are certain parts to the sport that get to me. First and foremost, calling the drivers "athletes." Jimmie Johnson has won 4 Sprint Cup Championships, in just over 200 starts. Hey, I've gone out to the grocery store or to the gas station over 200 times, and I've come back in first every time, not that difficult. The real problem is that this is telling kids, hey, you can be an athlete just by sitting in a car all afternoon. My stellar Mario Kart record doesn't make me an athlete. Hell, if anything it makes me a loser.

Speaking of losers, everyone knows about the whole BP oil rig catastrophe in the Gulf Coast. I mean, we fought a war overseas and are still fighting down the street for the cost of oil. I can't tell you how many times I turn on the news or just listen to some friends talk about how the gas prices are ridiculous, and 'what'll happen when we run out?!" Look it, people... I've never been big on math, but here's what we're going to do. We'll assume that the average number of laps in a NASCAR race is about 400 laps, with a field of 43 cars Take an average 17.75-gallon tank in the car, with about 4-5 miles per gallon.

17.75 x 4.5 = 79.875 miles per one full tank during a race.

400 / 79.875 = 5.007 pit stops for gas during a race.

5 x 17.75 = 88.75 gallons per car, per race.

88.75 x 43 = 3,816.25 gallons of gas per NASCAR event

We'll take the number of races in the Sprint Cup Series season to get our grand total.

3,816.25 x 36 = 137,385 gallons of gas used in a season.

And that's just one particular racing season. Nevermind the other God-knows-how-many divisions or whatever you want to call them. I mean, I love country music and an ice cold beer as much as the next guy, but do I love America more than than watching colorful numbered cars race around an oval for what seems like an eternity? You're damn right I do. We cut down on NASCAR, and we cut down global warming, the oil crisis, devastation in the rainforests, and world hunger.

Running With The Bulls

As if France's football reputation couldn't fall any further, Thierry Henry will pack up his things and move from Europe to the States, to play for the New York Red Bulls of the MLS.

The only details known of the contract so far are that it will be a multi-year deal, and his debut will be July 22, 2010 for an exhibition vs Tottenham of the English Premier League.

"I am fully aware of the team's history and my sole goal during my time here is to help win the club its first championship," said Henry when asked about his future.

To their credit, the Energy Drinks have had players such as Tim Howard, Jozy Altidore, Alexis Lalas, and Michael Bradley, and Eddie Pope, all USA standouts, as well at Howard being one of the top keepers in the Premier League. The team's average attendance has been slowly slipping, and was down to just over 12,000 a game last year, less than half the capacity at Red Bull Arena. Then again, the Red Bulls are out of Harrison, New Jersey, so that makes sense.

As for Henry's future, I really don't think that he will be able to do much in Jersey. He is 32 years old, and was part of the most embarrassing shenanigans to happen in soccer in recent memory with the French National team. Sure, he'll razzle-dazzle a few defenders here and there, but ultimately, he will be an even bigger dud than David Beckham in LA.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Birthday Shout-Out(s)

Big happy birthday to these fellas. From the greatest emperor who ever lived, to the greatest bounty hunter, to the voice of Spongebob. Cheers, and many more, amigos.
Julius Caesar
Yadier Molina
Shin-Soo Choo
Craig Bellamy
Spud Webb
Tom Kenny
Benny Benassi
Phil Margera
Tony Kornheiser
Cheech Marin
Harrison Ford
Patrick Stewart

Yes, That's George Takei

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl react like at the :23 second mark to me, I'd be sitting on stacks higher than Kilimanjaro.

Size Does Matter...

LET'S GO! I'm all jazzed up after watching this. Listen, I don't know who Goldberg is but he better be writing a serious apology for fracturing this brotha man's face.

I love this shit. First off, the interviewer is not even close to done asking his question or whatever he was doing and then BAM!! MuscleMania needs no more introduction and just starts yelling on the mic. So priceless when wannabe George Costanza jumps back in fright. I figured it would go on like that for the rest of the clip but oh no, I was wrong. Midway through he starts breaking down some serious astronomy shit about being able to view the big dipper 47 degrees through the stratosphere then something about a flux capacitor.

I'm pretty sure he started trying to rhyme there, too, at one point. All I know is that the big bad booty daddy is here to stay whether you like it or not, bitch.

Oh and lets pray to god Jumping Jeff Farmer isn't this 'Goldberg' Muscles is talking about.

Ron Artest Sucks At Life

Here it is folks: "Ron Artest - Champions" AKA 'Nails on a Chalkboard'

First off Ronny, Shaq is the only Laker allowed to rap. Period. That being said, I hate everything about this guy except when he punched that fan in the face, pretty entertaining. There is a whole laundry list of problems with this video.

First, being that it just sucks. Second, its shot with some handy-cam and is mad shaky, and third, there are legit no chicks just getting buck wild. Everyone knows that the most wild rap videos have 'video hoes.' Its just Rap Video 101. Not only have you not incorporated these 'video hoes,' you subsequently hurt the economy by not employing these hard working ladies.

Also whats the deal with homie in the back seat who I think sings the chorus. Pretty sure I could kick a field goal between the gap in his teeth, or is he just missing a tooth?

I guarentee that no Celtics player would have done this bullshit if we won banner number 18, which we will next year. Dude's head is so big right now that's probably why the whole video was basically just him lip-syncing in his car.


Valley Warrior's Movie Clip of the Week

What's the only thing better than watching Thud Butt bowl over a bunch of pirates? Hearing him yell Carambola with a Spanish accent. Enjoy


Big Papi Goin' Off

David Ortiz won the 2010 State Farm Home Run Derby last night, belting 32 home runs in three rounds. He beat former mentee Hanley Ramirez 11-5 in the final round. Big Papi is the first Red Sox player to win the Derby.

"I've been dealing with so many things the past few years. And coming back here and being cheered by the players around the league, that really gives me a lot of excitement."

Ortiz is hoping that his performance will prove to people, especially Sox Nation, that he's back to his true form. I'm just hoping he didn't waste all his power in that laser show. But knowing Papi, he was probably just running on pure adrenaline and support from the fans.

Joe Girardi Is A Douche Bag

The MLB All-Star game is tonight in Los Angeles. (8pm, FOX) The American League skipper for the game will be Joe Girardi, New York Yankees manager. After assessing his roster on Monday, he was at a press conference with a good number of media personnel in attendance, firing off questions about the game, his team's first half, and which players he would play. When asked about Red Sox third baseman Adrian Beltre?

"He was replaced by Michael Young."

Beltre, who suffered a hamstring injury on Sunday in Toronto, was questionable for the game. So what was his reaction to hearing the news?

"Who replaced me? And why did they replace me? Nobody told me I was getting replaced. Who makes this decision?

Well, Adrian, since you were voted in by the players to be the first replacement for Evan Longoria, I think you make the decision. First, Girardi snubs Kevin Youkilis by picking Paul Konerko over him, when Konerko wasn't even close to Youk in the voting. Like, dude, I get that you want to win, but now instead of just Sox fans thinking you're an asshole, now the country knows it. The guy clearly doesn't know how to handle himself in this situation. He can't handle talking to players that aren't on his team apparently. Personally, I'm not worried about Beltre playing, since Clay Buchholz, Victor Martinez and Dustin Pedroia are already sitting out due to injury, but still, I'd like to see Girardi grow a pair and do his job.

George Steinbrenner, 1930-2010

New York Yankees' longtime owner, George Steinbrenner passed away at the age of 80 from a heart attack. He meant an immense amount to baseball, his team, and those who played for him or worked with him. With his passing, his two sons will now oversee the team.

Hal Steinbrenner is more of the brains to the operation, whereas Hank sort of looks like his father. Hal will try to keep things running like his father had them, and Hank will look to make some big moves before the trade deadline, like signing free agents, Chef Boyardee, Michael Chiklis, and Cookie Monster.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

You Done Pissed off Francis

At first, I didn't really want to blog about this, because I legit felt bad for this kid, and still somewhat do. However, I got to thinking about what he was saying in the video about how he can't play 'WoW' and he was so angry about it, just some normal anger fueled ranting. Then he said something, and I realized that if I didn't post this we could all be in some sort of serious danger. He is trying to warn us that the Lich King is on the loose and he cannot defeat him due to his hacked account. However we all sat back and secretly giggled at this poor bastard's misfortune.

How I'm the only one who picked up on it, I just don't know. Like where is the government on this one anti-terrorist unit and shit, I just know Al-Qaeda is behind all this non-sense, this was their big plan! Unleash the Lich King while Francis, our one and only savior was down for the count.

Yes, its diabolical, evil, disgusting. But at the same time ingenious. I don't know where or when he will strike but it's coming...and soon. Your best bet is to find an underground bunker and just wait this one out. I made a call to Yogi and the gang and told 'em the situation and their ready for a final stand battle.

Here is the video footage of our fallen hero in his weakest hour, I'm fore warning you folks this is tough to watch.

Vegetables, Vegetables, Vegetables!!!!!!!!

Warning: This video is perhaps the funniest shit I have seen on the internet in a minute. How this hasn't gone absolutely viral, I'm talking at least a million hits, is beyond me.

Not only did I learn the finer things of fashion from this clip, but I now have an absolutely unbreakable appreciation for breathing. I was pretty close to having a hernia from laughing at Yogi Okie Dokie and his farm friends. That Rasta Rooster can come party with me any day of the week. There are some pretty rad dance moves I picked up that I can add to my repertoire instead of just busting the stanky leg out every time the track changes. Really though, I will stanky leg to anything, I hear two spoons banging in a somewhat rhythmic manner and its over, instincts kick in and I'm prisoner to the stank.

All joking aside should I call someone or something? To me it seems like Yogi Okie Dokie is doing some not so okie dokie creepy pedophile shit out on his farm with the rooster and Milky the Cow. When he says 'nice breathing, Christian' in a that menacing voice my laughter came to an abrupt hault, but then this guy goes on and does the 'chicken scratching in the dirt' move and I nearly collapsed with laughter. I'm just looping this video over and over again and still can't believe its real. Check it out though if you don't laugh you probably don't have a belly button and should never read this cutting-edge blog ever again.

Just a quick side note, do you think this guy does kids parties, perhaps bachelor events? If so I would love to hire him with all my buddies and sip a few cold ones and laugh as him and is band of misfits puts on the most entertaining show of my life.

Also thanks Steve for putting me on to this.

Boom Goes The Dynamite

Yet another amazing call by a sportscaster on the evening news.

Several things in this video... This guy just produced solid gold. How old is that girl who gets run into? How does the anchor line up that first "OH MY GOD!" so well at the :17 second mark?! And how much does that girl's redhead friend NOT want to know her when she starts flipping her lid?

Paul the Oracle Octopus

Spain just won its first World Cup in its country's history, beating the Netherlands 1-0. But there's something bigger at work, here. And that is Paul the Oracle Octopus.

Paul resides in an aquarium in Germany. He has attracted some serious attention from the entire country after he correctly picked the winner of every match the German team played in. After calling the shocking loss to Serbia, Paul's fame declined in Deutschland, and recipes for various octopus dishes were being contemplated across the country.

When he correctly called Spain's victory in the semi-final against the Germans, Spaniards were quick to jump to Paul's much needed defense.

The Oracle Octopus went 100 percent in the 2010 World Cup, going 8 for 8. Good work, Paul, and good luck. Those Germans can be pretty mean...

Talking Chimps

Bubbles, Michael Jackson's secret lover.

This is the perfect story for a blockbuster movie (or just a sitcom), where your everyday chimp, Bubbles gets Mikey into some new shenanigans, Brilliant! I can just picture it now...Michael and Bubbles brushing their teeth, sharing a bed by night, and fighting crime by day. Hell, throw in Mr. Ed and Garfield, and this show goes 15+ seasons in a prime time slot.

I personally loved the part of this article where Bubbles is swinging from a chandelier and swinging hay-makers left and right. I just don't think it can get any better than that. Imagine if the surgery worked though, or Jackson could 'give him an operation so that I can know what his thoughts are'. I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar if everything worked out, they would have banged or at least hooked up once or twice. Any way, good for Mike, though, still making headlines from the grave and I still can't get a real job.

Make sure you check out that Garfield link, its bound to make you feel better about yourself.