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Thursday, July 15, 2010

We're All In Serious Trouble...

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I thought we dispelled this thing years ago, but alas...we're fucked. Ladies and gentlemen, the legendary Goat Sucker, La Chupacabra is back! And deadlier than ever... It has now multiplied, and is taking over planet Earth, one farm at a time.

Jack Farr, the local farmer who shot una chupacabra explains it all. He claims it has the ears of a deer, and was a weird pinkish color. Funny, the first thing I notice when I take a look at it is the hideous ugliness or the GIANT SHARP TEETH. A lot of animals have deer like ears, and human skin can be sort of pinkish, that doesn't scare me. "Think of them as a less sexy version of 'Twilight''s infamous vampire Edward Cullen." Big ups to my boy Mike Krumboltz at YahooBuzz.com for that gem.

And how about Farmer Jack bustin' out the knowledge of its lair: "Well that's where I would live if I were a chupacabra..." You rat bastard, we need 24/7 surveillance going on him. Who knows what he could be up to. Dammit, he could own a chupacabra farm, raising them up from chupacrabronies to full-grown, completely outrageous and blood-thirsty chupacabras.

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