Boom Goes The Dynamite

Yet another amazing call by a sportscaster on the evening news.

Several things in this video... This guy just produced solid gold. How old is that girl who gets run into? How does the anchor line up that first "OH MY GOD!" so well at the :17 second mark?! And how much does that girl's redhead friend NOT want to know her when she starts flipping her lid?

Paul the Oracle Octopus

Spain just won its first World Cup in its country's history, beating the Netherlands 1-0. But there's something bigger at work, here. And that is Paul the Oracle Octopus.

Paul resides in an aquarium in Germany. He has attracted some serious attention from the entire country after he correctly picked the winner of every match the German team played in. After calling the shocking loss to Serbia, Paul's fame declined in Deutschland, and recipes for various octopus dishes were being contemplated across the country.

When he correctly called Spain's victory in the semi-final against the Germans, Spaniards were quick to jump to Paul's much needed defense.

The Oracle Octopus went 100 percent in the 2010 World Cup, going 8 for 8. Good work, Paul, and good luck. Those Germans can be pretty mean...

Talking Chimps

Bubbles, Michael Jackson's secret lover.

This is the perfect story for a blockbuster movie (or just a sitcom), where your everyday chimp, Bubbles gets Mikey into some new shenanigans, Brilliant! I can just picture it now...Michael and Bubbles brushing their teeth, sharing a bed by night, and fighting crime by day. Hell, throw in Mr. Ed and Garfield, and this show goes 15+ seasons in a prime time slot.

I personally loved the part of this article where Bubbles is swinging from a chandelier and swinging hay-makers left and right. I just don't think it can get any better than that. Imagine if the surgery worked though, or Jackson could 'give him an operation so that I can know what his thoughts are'. I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar if everything worked out, they would have banged or at least hooked up once or twice. Any way, good for Mike, though, still making headlines from the grave and I still can't get a real job.

Make sure you check out that Garfield link, its bound to make you feel better about yourself.

Spain Wins The Cup

For the first time in Spanish football history, Spain has won the FIFA World Cup in 2010, beating the Netherlands in a two-hour extra time battle, 1-0.

This was easily the best match of the Cup this year. Both teams played stout defense, quick and sharp offense, and had their fair shares of runs but also missed opportunities. 4 shots on goal each, 6 corners for the Dutch, 8 for La Roja. The refereeing seemed to be top notch today, and the game was kept under control. Netherlands received 8 yellows and a red card, with Spain receiving 5 yellows.

Dutch players Arjen Robben and Wesely Sneijder played incredible games, giving their all for their country. Robben nearly turned the match in the other direction when his one-on-one with Spanish keeper Iker Casillas was turned wide left in the second half. Their downfall was their loss of composure towards the end of extra time, which they had seemed to have plenty of the entire match. Tenacious defense against a strong attacking Spanish team for 118 minutes is nothing to be ashamed of. Excellently played.

Spain has numerous opportunities to score, including a couple headers by Sergio Ramos sent over the crossbar. It seemed that Andres Iniesta was afraid to use his left foot for a couple scoring chances, but in the end, got the ball on his right foot and blasted it off the right hand of Dutch keeper Maarten Stekelenburg and in the back corner of the net. David Villa had a few chances to score, but seemed to be extremely anxious, spoiling them in different directions. The Golden Boot runner-up did not factor in the final score, but is certainly happy with his team's finish.

For the Netherlands, this is their third Finals heartbreak, but should walk away with their heads held high. Two of the world's top five teams squared off in a match for the ages. Spain wins its first Cup in its country's history, 1-0. El Plaza de Colon is going to party like its 1999 tonight. Viva La Roja.

Until 2014 in Brazil... Go World.

GOL!

ANDRES INIESTA SCORES FOR LA ROJA IN THE 118TH MINUTE! 1-0 SPAIN

Mel Gibson Tells It Like It Is

Mel Gibson has officially lost it. I'm really not that surprised by all of this, though. I felt it coming on ever since "The Passion of the Christ," and even way back when he was the voiceover for John Smith in Disney's "Pocahontas." My only hope is that he treated Pocahontas better then his ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva because we all know the real ending to the story of the Indians.

After going on a wild rant about 'foreign bodies' in her breasts and some other absurd insults, this gem of a conversation was topped of with an extremely racist comment. In light of this situation I'm sure Michael Richards is now happy to be out of the spot light. Here's the link to the phone conversation, discretion is advised due to the lewd remarks.

Mel Gibson Voicemail

Side note: This is perfect for a sound board on the internet, someone needs to get on that. Also, I love how he calls her out for being able to see her 'pussy from the back.' Hahaha WHAT!? You tell 'em, Mel.

FREEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!

Yeah, Right

Nope, no way, no how, I refuse to believe that China is purchasing dolphins to 'treat' autism.

This is clearly a smokescreen put up by their crafty eastern culture and you might have to be autistic yourself if you believe this is totally legit. As soon as the lights go out in the zoo, you just know these poor dolphins will be descended upon and slaughtered. As if they spent something like 700 G's on these creatures, too. Are you kidding me? Not only are they killing a species, they are doing some black market shit to make a profit.

Its time for change. Open the phone book and call a random stranger, tell them about this atrocity and pitch our blog, that saw the trees through the forest in these horrible attempt to use autistic children to freely kill dolphins. shame on you Japan and China. Shame on you.