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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

This is Real Life

So we haven't done too many personal stories on the blog, but the past couple weeks for me have been absolutely off the wall. So it starts like this...

A couple weeks ago I went to Sedona, Arizona. Awesome out there, like walkin' around a 95-degree Mars, with some strange Native Americans and hippies talking about their "vortexes." So, I got back home after a wild week out there, and then went to visit my brother in Austin, Texas. We spent the weekend out there, just bummin' around, helping him get situated into his new apartment, which he just moved to from Houston. So alright, The Weekend got its travel on a little bit, but let's rewind a little bit, shall we? Let's go to Monday, August 2nd, 2010...

I drive up to my buddy Dan's house in Worcester, drop my car off, and take the commuter rail into Boston to visit my girlfriend for a few days. Taken the train a few times before, no big deal. So I jump on the train, and I'm riding along, playing some "Donkey Kong Country 2" on my laptop, just enjoying the ride. There's a black kid a few rows up, blasting "Down" by JaySean, which is perfect, because I forgot my headphones, and I guess he did, too, but in this case, I'm cool with it.

The ticket taker is going through the aisles, collecting money, and he puts a slip of paper in the guy's seat behind me to remind himself the guy paid, but the dude sitting there becomes furious... "What the hell is this?" he asks the ticket taker. "That's for me to make sure you paid, its not a big deal," he answers.

"Well... IS THAT M.B.T.A. POLICY?!?" The guy is now visibly upset at this 1"x2" slip of paper on his seat. "IT'S MY POLICY, SIR, RELAX" Boom, altercation over... It gets better.

Two ladies in front of my start chatting, one white lady, and another lady, who says she was born in Africa and is a prominent member of the "Church of God." Know, I'm not theologian, but aren't all churches, churches of God? So anyway, they hit it off, and they're discussing aspects of the church, throwing out some serious knowledge, drowning out my JaySean, but I just roll right along with the punches. Next thing I know, my man blasting music has cut me off, and is starting to throw around his out personal beliefs at a kid sitting across from him. He was quoting the Bible, talking about the Israelites, comparing Jesus to Zeus, the greek god, and everything in between. Now, of course, our two friends from before overhear this, and heaven and hell just break loose on the Worcester/Framingham rail. People are moving their seats, headphones are being taken off to listen to the conversation, its getting wild. There was just a lot of head-shaking, people trying to talk over one another, it was just absolute nonsense for near a half hour, just talking about how different religions came to be. Gobbledygook to me, really.

Alright, so the Holy War subsides, I can just get off the train, and get out of there, right? Wrong. I'm walking off the train, and this guy pops up in front of me. About 6' 5," African American, gray hair, with beads and short dreads, wearing a cloth cap, and what appear to be numerous shawls and blankets, with a giant walking stick.

Alright, so I finally go topside, and I'm walking down Newbury Street. There's a girl staring straight at me, making me a little nervous. She looks like she's gonna try to sell me something. I'm looking over my shoulder thinking she's looking at someone behind me, but of course not. She throws some mindless drivel at me for 10 minutes about how I look like the perfect candidate to sponsor a child in need. She's throwing bar graphs, pie charts, scatterplots, pamphlets, you name it at me. So, 10 minutes elapse, and she finally asks what she should've asked in the first 15 seconds, "Are you 21?" Well, Lilly (that was her name, still remember it), I'm not so when it add it up, you've wasted a combined 20 minutes of our lives, good talking with you.

So I'm almost to Emmanuel, and there's one last obstacle. A dude, standing in the middle of the sidewalk by Agassiz Street, is staring right at me. He's rocking, black workboots, high socks, short jean shorts, and a tight black tank top, so clearly he's not playing for my team. I get even with him, then walk past him and hear him say "Eh, too skinny..."

Alright, so back to present day for the end of my story... I'm sitting at my computer, and the lights and TV start flickering. No big deal... Until shit starts popping and locking, and one TV starts hissing at me, which sounds like a girl screaming. A couple lightbulbs burst, like some Green Mile shit we're talking. Power goes out, came back on at midnight, final tally: we're down 1 dryer, 1 fridge, 3 TVs, and a handful of lightbulbs. Great... That's been my life, hope you enjoyed the ride.

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