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Sunday, August 1, 2010

Top 10 Things You Should Expect On An Airplane

I just flew back from Arizona to Chicago, and then to Hartford. So needless to say, I've had enough of any air travel for a while. When I got on both planes, I noticed the same features, characters and things to expect that every single plane ride you have ever taken is guaranteed to have. Here are the top 10.

1. The flight attendant who you're hoping is good looking, and you spend half the flight trying to justify any ounce of attractiveness she has.

2. The fat guy you hope you're not sitting next to.

3. The crying baby.

4. The douche bag who has to load all 16 of his family's carry-ons about 6 rows after the door, holding up the entire world.

5. The creepy pilot's voice over the PA system, that has to be a recording, or maybe that's part of the pilot selection process.

6. The fat guy you ARE sitting next to.

7. If you don't have a window seat, the lady you don't know who NEVER opens the window shade.

8. The person in front of you will ALWAYS recline their seat into the bridge of your nose, making reading, or even breathing complicated.

9. The in-flight movie will be garbage. (I got 'The Last Song' with Miley Cyrus)

10. You can go the whole plane ride without a single bump or hitch, but as soon as you are about to land, you always think you're going to run out of runway because the damn pilot takes forever to actually make wheel-to-ground contact.

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